Left Behind
by lNightWriterl
Summary: When three marines are killed, one of the team is tossed back into the past that his teammates never knew. Tony's memories of his past life comes back to haunt him as he has to relive it all again. The team see another part of him that they thought would never exist inside of the easy going, goofy, and childish comrade of theirs. Everything just doesn't seem right.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue:**

There was only screaming. It filled every minute of every second of the silence. It was a horrible shrilling shriek that pierced that darkness as the hot, dry air clung to his body. Not one sound was made aside from the heavy breathing and of course, the screaming. Sweat poured down his face but he made no move to wipe it off. He couldn't have anyway with his hands bound so tightly behind him. Eventually, as the days turned to weeks…Everything began to fade. The blackness and heat turned into a comforting blanket and the pain eased into something of acceptance. Everything began to fade.

Everything but the screaming.

* * *

Tony woke up at three in the morning…Again. Sweat poured down his face and neck, down his chest and arms.

Years had gone by and yet, it felt as though nothing had changed. He still saw the blood, the people, the guns. He heard the screams, the blasts, the cries.

He still felt death all around him.

"God damn it." He muttered to himself and forced himself up on his elbows, the tangled sheets falling off of his bare chest. Luckily, he wasn't sharing his bed with another woman tonight. It was always an awkward situation to try to explain to some girl why you were waking up in the middle of the night screaming or crying out. Not to mention excruciatingly embarrassing.

Deciding then a hot shower would help wash away any traces of panic he was feeling from his dream- memory- whatever you wanted to call it, Tony pushed himself off the bed, stumbling for the bathroom.

"_Anthony DiNozzo."_

"_Sir?"_

"_You ready to fight?"_

Shuddering, Tony turned the water up higher, letting the heat pound on his back, trying to get the memories and voices washed out of his mind.

"_RUN! I said run!"_

"_I'm not leaving you!"_

"_Damn it Tony go!"_

"Shut up." Tony hissed to himself, getting out of the shower momentarily in order to turn on the radio at the other end of the room, hoping the music would drown out any other thoughts his mind decided to attain.

"_Calm down. Tell us what happened."_

"_They... Took them! We have to go back! They'll die!"_

It was no use. The thoughts, the screams, the feeling of fear. It wasn't going anyway tonight. It never seemed to at times. It was one of the reasons he was so apt as an investigator. He could work late nights every single night and never get tired. The memories made sure of that.

"_What is it you do again Tony?"_

"_I'm a marine."_

**Chapter 1:**

"Where is DiNozzo?" Gibbs growled, running a hand through well-trimmed hair. It wasn't unusual for his agent to be late. In fact, it was expected of him. It was another thing for his agent to not show up to work at all.

"Uh…I don't know boss." McGee stated, his eyes looking as though he wished Tony would appear, just to get the attention off of him. "I tried calling him, he didn't answer. Should I trace his phone or something?" he asked uncertainly. McGee didn't honestly think Gibbs would make him track down Tony, but he couldn't be sure. His boss was a bit odd when it came to his partner. One moment he would be threatening to kill him and the next he would be watching over him like a mother hen. Not that either of them seemed to neither realize nor accept this as reality. They both seemed perfectly fine believing that they had 'normal' boss- employee relationship. As if.

"Trace my phone? Really McGee? What am I? A criminal?" All three heads snapped to Tony as he marched into the bullpen, his smile stretched across his face as he threw his bag next to his desk. "Sorry I'm late." He added helpfully, probably adding fuel to the flames.

"Late?" Gibbs asked quietly and took a quickened step towards his agent. "_Late_? _Late_ would be twenty minutes DiNozzo. _Late_ would be maybe a half-hour at most. _Four hours_ _without calling_ does _not_ qualify as _late_!" Tony seemed to realize he was in a dangerous area with his boss, and his expression sobered instantly.

"I had to take care of something."

"Were you not capable of answering a _damn_ phone? This happens again, you can 'take care of something' without a job to worry about!" he spat out and stormed over to his desk, muttering darkly about his need for coffee.

Tony on the other hand, remained perfectly still. His eyes darkening as he accepted the scolding without comment. Wordlessly, he sat in his chair and began working, not another thing said the entire morning. Probably in hopes to bother Gibbs with his not-so-normal quiet mode.

Ass. Tony knew they hated it when he did that. Because despite the fact their friend was annoying as hell when he talked (nonstop), it was almost worse when he didn't. It was too…unnatural.

It was so unnatural that it made the morning drag by longer than usual. By the time lunch rolled around, it felt as though three days had gone by. Three. Long. Boring. Days.

"Hey Tony…You want to grab something to eat?" Ziva asked tentatively. Usually, no matter how harsh their boss was on him, Tony always bounced back within a couple minutes.

"Huh? Oh, no thanks. Not hungry." Tony replied, without evening glancing up from his computer screen. His face was set into a deep scowl, as if reading something decidedly unpleasant.

"Well that's just too bad DiNozzo." Gibbs said, looking slightly disgruntled at his agent. "I don't need you falling over your feet in the field." Glancing up, the younger man frowned.

"Fine." He murmured and then turned to Ziva "Can you pick me up some pizza?"

"You mean you aren't coming with us?" Ziva asked looking alarmed. "What are you even _doing_ over there?" she took a few steps towards him, but her partner quickly snapped off his monitor.

"Mind your own business." He snapped at her. All eyes immediately fell on him.

"I…Alright." Ziva said, her tone barely concealing the surprise and hurt at her friend's sharp comment. Getting up, she made her way to the elevator, only pausing a moment for McGee to scramble after her after giving a questioning look to his partner.

Silence followed momentarily after their exit.

"What the Hell was that?" Gibbs finally asked, turning to his Senior Field Agent.

"What?" Tony said in exasperation "What does it matter to her what I'm doing over here anyway?" there was no answer at first, simply Gibbs giving 'the look'. The two stared the other down until Tony finally let out an audible sigh and got up.

"Alright, alright." He muttered. "Be right back." Moving stiffly, he marched out of the bullpen, to God knows where.

Tony rushed himself to the bathroom, trying to regain his bearings. The e-mail he had received had been…unnerving to say the least. It didn't help that his team mates were obviously concerned either. Usually, Tony was a good actor…But this…Was a bit hard to hide his feelings about…

_It was hot. Hot and dry. Dirt swirled in the wind, blowing harshly into Tony's mouth and eyes, making him even more desperate for water. It was his first day on the front lines and things weren't exactly looking up. During training it had been hard. Screaming and drills and shooting and what not. Running for miles and pushups until you collapsed. But Anthony DiNozzo did it. He did it for his country, because, honestly, he had no other reason to do it for. _

_Being disowned, abandoned, and with nothing more but a sports scholarship to get you through a few classes in college didn't exactly leave one with a lot of options. So when the recruiter came and asked Tony if he wanted to serve his country, he didn't even blink an eye. In his mind, there was no greater honor._

_So far though, war was different than training. It was more real. Death was around every corner. Crying was heard in the distance and people were desperately fighting for any chance of survival, whether it be water or food to live to see till' tomorrow._

"_Hey…You." Tony turned, getting a full view a man coming towards him, knife in hand. By the looks of it, the guy was a civilian, dark skin and eyes and almost covered in cloth. The private gave a weak smile, trying to summon his strength in order to help the citizen with whatever he needed._

"_Can I help you?" he asked, trying to keep his wariness out of his voice. It had been a long ride over here. Three bombs had already been set off, blowing out one of the cars. He was lucky enough it wasn't his._

"_Do you have food? My family and I need it desperately." _

_Damn. Tony only had a day worth of rations to last him the rest of the week. He had already given the rest away to others who had come along, already begging for something to eat._

"_I only have a bit sir." Tony admitted "I might be able to split half with you, but I need the rest to stay alive." The man's eyes shimmered with anger and without a second thought; the man pressed the blade sharply to his neck. _

"_Give me the food and no one gets hurt." He said quietly and the man cursed under his breath. It would be easy for him to kill this man, but something told him it wasn't the smartest decision to kill someone who was staying on the front. But he couldn't very well give his food away either…_

"_Omar. Let him go." A new voice had jumped in from behind and Tony heard a growl from the guy who must have been 'Omar'._

"_I need food Sargent." The man sneered mockingly._

"_I said. Let. Him. Go. You have already pissed off enough people here, taking their food and water. You have more than enough. Let him go…Unless of course you would rather me bring out a couple more of my friends…?" Omar let out another hiss and Tony felt himself being released._

"_You're lucky boy." He muttered, pushing past and the private turned to look into the face of his rescuer._

_The guy who Omar had called Sargent was about six foot and in his thirties. Blonde hair was cropped into the military cut, only just peeking out from under a helmet. Piercing blue eyes bored into him, illuminated by tan skin._

"_What's your name marine?"_

"_Private Anthony DiNozzo sir."_

"_Ah…A newbie. Welcome kid." The man grinned, sticking out his hand. "Don't worry about Omar. He's really the only threat inside of camp. We'll watch him for you. I'm Sargent Jake Archers, nice to meet you." _

Tony splashed water on his face, trying to clear his mind. It had been years since he and Jake spoken. Years. Which was why the NCIS agent was baffled by his old friend's recent reemergence. The e-mail he had sent had been brief, basically saying that he needed Tony's help.

Yeah, way to be specific Jake. Thanks.

It was an added stress to his life, which the man honestly didn't need. Trying to find killers and save lives could actually be a taxing job believe it or not. Crazy right? Note the sarcasm.

Maybe he _had_ been a bit snappish with his team…But it was all justified…Right?

Because if Jake needed his help…That could only mean a few things. None of which were good. Tony closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against the cool surface of the mirror. He didn't want any of those things to come back…He was haunted by the past enough as it was. His old best friend's appearance would just rub salt in an already bleeding wound.

Now that he thought about it…How old would Jake be now? If Tony had joined the Corps when he was around twenty-two…Stayed there for about five years…He was about thirty-six now…Wow. Jake would have to be almost fifty now.

Maybe he was retired now. Fifty was a bit old to be fighting still wasn't it? Perhaps Jake just wanted to talk. To catch up. This could have nothing to do with his military experience at all.

It wasn't as though Tony regretted serving his country. It was one of the proudest moments of his life…It was just….That…Well…The memories were so fresh. The scars were still there.

War was so often glorified. By people, books, even his beloved movies. People sign up to fight in battle thinking that it will be this dramatic experience. That it will be this _thing_ you are part of that feels just so damn _good_ because you are part of a cause that it bigger than yourself. That is bigger than anybody or anything. You are _fighting_ for something that _matters_. You're doing something _right_. The lines are never blurred…

At least that was how he thought it went.

"_Save me!"_

"_DiNozzo what are you doing? Leave him there!"_

"_He needs help!"_

"_He just tried to kill us!"_

Swallowing hard, Tony tried to even out his face. Tim and Ziva should be back by now. He needed to get himself together. If Jake did end up showing up at his apartment tonight, he could at least do himself the favor of keeping himself composed.

Walking out of the bathroom with a redeemed look, Tony strode into the bullpen, his eyes falling onto the pizza box on his desk. Nobody acknowledged him and Tony felt the slightest plunge of guilt as he looked at the box of meat lovers on his desk which was still steaming.

"Thanks Zee." He said quietly and she glanced up, her eyes searching him before giving a slight nod.

"You're welcome!" Tim added in jokingly and Tony grinned.

"What did you do McKissAss? Carry the box?" he hazed and the younger agent stuck out his chin defiantly.

"I'll have you know it was a heavy box."

"We need to get you to the gym McGee."

"You try to lift it then." Snorting, Tony reached over to lift the pizza. It didn't move.

"What the-" he muttered as he tried again…and again…and again…What the heck? Why wasn't it moving?! He heard McGee's laughter as he finally pried it off the desk with both hands, only to find the bottom of the box rip off.

"You super glued the box to my desk?" he asked incredulously before letting his face break into a smile "Aw, McGee! I'm so proud of you!" he laughed and momentarily he forgot that there was anything wrong.

* * *

**Hey everyone (: So lots and lots of things to say here! First off, thank you for reading my story! It came at request by Mythologyrox, and I simply loved the idea =D. Now, some of you might already know this, but I still think it needs to be said. I like to think I'm a pretty fast updater, but this one might be a little bit slower considering I'm going to take on the challenge of doing two stories at a time. I actually have a majority of this written, so hopefully it won't be all that long. **

**I know this is going to be pointed out/addressed so I'm going to talk about this now. This story is not AU... It is something that is very unlikely to happen, but not really AU. Anyways, I'm done here (: Please review, tell me what you think and all that! **

**Thanks,**

**Kensi (:**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

_"Well, well, well. Welcome Sergeant DiNozzo." Tony stiffened at the name, his body language tightening up instantly. _

_"Please, just Tony." He said, giving his best smile as he locked his fingers together and met eye contact with the man. _

_Anthony DiNozzo was no stranger to lawyers. They were, in some ways, his Dad's best friends as well as his worst enemies. Now though, looking at the man in front of him dressed in a high class Armani suit, hair greased like a pig, and shoes that cost more than he had to eat in about three weeks…Tony was beginning to regret this decision. _

_"Tony." The lawyer agreed and sat across from him behind an oak desk, straightening up his files before looking the twenty-seven year old straight in the eyes._

_"You know," he began "This isn't something people normally come to me for. I've had criminals ask me to expunge their crimes on background checks, college students ask me to take off drinking videos from YouTube, and men asking me to erase e-mails from their lovers so their wives won't find out. But never once, have I had a Marine ask me to erase his military experience before."_

_"You can do it can't you?" Tony asked, choosing to ignore the unasked question of 'why'._

_"Well, legally, I could. As long as you have permission from your commanding officer, and you signed off on those papers I gave you."_

_"Here" Tony told him eagerly, shoving the booklet which bore all the signatures he would need into the lawyer's awaiting hands. The man studied them over for a moment and then nodded approvingly. _

_"Alright then, I'll have this erased from your background. No databases would recognize you as a Marine. However, there is the matter of the public records…"_

_"Public records?"_

_"Things recorded down. Such as your name on your unit papers, the missions you went on and so forth. I can't erase those things. They could be imperative to future missions and is a federal offense. I can however, change your name for you."_

_Tony nodded, feeling the pressure weighing down on his shoulders being lifted. It was gone. All of it. Gone. With the wind, he thought jokingly to himself and smiled as the lawyer gave a couple more key strokes and announced it over._

_"If you don't mind me asking Sergeant- I mean Tony. Why on Earth would you want something like this gone? Military records could help you get jobs, and-"_

_"As far as I'm concerned. I never enlisted." The man paused a moment to critique the solider before nodding and handing him several more papers. _

_"Very well then. Semper Fi. I believe that is what you say, isn't it?" _

_"Yes sir. Semper Fi."_

"DiNozzo? You with us?" Jumping, Tony's mind quickly became refocused on the bullpen. Work. That's where he was. Work…

"Uh, yeah. Right here Boss." He said, giving a half smile that the older man returned with pursed lips. Ziva narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion and McGee simply watched without understanding.

Tony really wished they would have a case…He _needed_ one right now. Something to help exhaust him and empty out his head. A call would be really, really nice right now actually…

Somewhere, a higher force must have decided Tony was good a person, because there was a shrill ringing that came from Gibbs' desk moments later.

"Gibbs. Yeah. Yeah. Ok." He said and snapped the phone shut with a satisfying click. "Grab your gear." He told them and Tony almost dove to his pack, feeling a little lighter now that he knew his mind was soon to be filled with leads and financials rather than….other things.

"What do we got Boss?" he asked Gibbs marched past him to the elevator.

"Dead marine over near the Potomac."

"On your six." Tony grinned and almost ran into the man who was walking into the Bullpen.

"Oh, hey. Sorry." Tony told him, trying to slip by to get to the elevator, where his team was already waiting.

"No problem sir. Could you tell me where an Anthony DiNozzo is?" Frowning, Tony studied over the other man. He didn't look familiar in any way, and certainly didn't look like anyone who would want to be talking to him any good reason. His height was about to Tony's shoulder and he was dressed in the standard suit and tie with beady eyes. The man could have screamed lawyer at him as he straightened his tie.

"Sure, he went over that way." Tony pointed to the opposite direction, deciding that this man was not worth his time. Especially since he had a crime scene to work. Nodding his thanks, the man left and the agent ran to elevator where he was met with raised eyebrows.

"Guy wanted to know where the Director was." He shrugged and his team let the topic drop.

* * *

"DiNozzo sketch. Ziva bag and tag. McGee witnesses." The sound of three 'on its' went through the air as the NCIS agents cluttered around the crime scene, getting to work. Ducky and Jimmy had yet arrive, not much to anyone's real surprise, and there were only three witnesses McGee was interviewing. Aside from that, there wasn't a single soul there. Gibbs supposed this was a good thing, no fight with local LEOs or what not.

Though, the fact there were none bothered him. Usually there was one or two crawling around. Who else would have called them in? In fact…It looked as though they were the first ones here, which could either be taken as comforting or raise alarm bells. Somehow, the lead agent's gut was screaming both.

"Alright, so this guy-" Tony started as he brushed the debris from the Marine's face but then stopped short. Gibbs turned around, to tell his SFA to hurry the Hell up and finish taking the photos when there was a very distinct sound of someone stumbling back.

"DiNozzo! What are you doing?" he snapped, marching his way over a fallen log to get his agent's head back on the ground.

That was when he saw Tony's face.

Stark white with virtually no blood in it at all. Gibbs had seen corpses with better color. There was a flash of something in his eyes that Gibbs couldn't for the life of him place, something border lining sickness and fear. What the-?

"Tony?" Ziva asked, kneeling next to her friend as he slowly backed away from the body on all fours. She looked at her Boss, confusion evident on her face and reached to grab her partner when he jumped up and grabbed her wrist before she could touch him.

"DiNozzo!" he yelled out and watched as Ziva struggled to overcome years of training to not snap him like a twig. He had to admire how she restrained her reflexes, only pulling herself out of his grasp instead of fighting back.

"What the Hell is the matter with you?" he snapped, marching up to him, but Tony didn't respond. Turning to the corpse, Gibbs looked closer at the body. The man looked to be in his late forties, with dark hair covering most of his head, glassy brown eyes staring straight ahead. No one Gibbs recognized, but by the looks of it, the same couldn't be said for Tony.

"HEY! Oh for the love of Christ sakes!" Gibbs turned again, seeing the same man who had been talking to Tony in the bullpen, scampering over to them, swatting bugs away from his face as he went. "Get him away from the body!" the man cried out as he almost fell flat on his face and Ziva looked taken back at some little fool screaming orders at her.

"Who are you?" he asked when the man finally reached them. By this point, Tony seemed to regain some kind of brain function because he slowly blinked and looked at the man.

"Agent Anthony DiNozzo back _away_ from the body." The man seethed and Gibbs was possibly even more surprise when no argument came from his agent.

"I said." Gibbs ground out, stepping in front of Tony "Who are you?"

"That doesn't matter. He needs to get out of here. Now."

"Why?"

"That's none of your concern right now."

"Oh, the Hell it isn't. He works for me. Which means it is my concern."

Scowling the man took out a badge which was labeled JAG with the name Thomas Stewart printed neatly on his ID. A Navy lawyer? What a way to ruin his morning…

"Agent Gibbs, I'm sorry, but Agent DiNozzo needs to come with me." The man said, his eyes falling to Tony, who still hadn't spoken a word.

"Go with you _where_ exactly?"

"Back to NCIS. I need to go over a few things with him, I'm sure you will be informed in due time." Gibbs scowled, feeling instant dislike creep into his veins as he looked at the small man.

"DiNozzo. Your call." He said, turning to his agent. He knew Tony wouldn't be leaving if he, himself had a say on it.

"Um…" he blinked momentarily and then there was a flash of something that overcame his face. "Sir?"

_Sir_? What the Hell?

"Do you want to go with this…Thomas Stewart guy?" he repeated slowly and Tony's gaze drew more attentive towards the lawyer as he assessed him.

"Yes sir." He answered firmly and Gibbs felt his gut churn unsteadily at the tone. It was one he had never heard his agent use before, and wasn't exactly sure he liked hearing it in Tony's voice.

Then there was the fact that DiNozzo just _agreed_ to go with a lawyer and abandon the case, which, by the looks of it, struck a chord with the younger man. None of his concerns were voiced out loud though, as he watched Tony follow the man back to his hastily parked car, not another word said even after they had left.

* * *

Tony's head was spinning. Faces were flooding his mind, accompanied by images he would have rather not seen. Somewhere, he was sure he had heard Gibbs voice talking to him, but couldn't find it within him to pull himself out and respond. Instead, he just let his autopilot take over, his mind trying to absorb the facts.

Brandon. That had been Brandon. _His_ Brandon. Brandon Sterling.

It was true, that while his was in the Corps it was a well-known fact that Anthony DiNozzo and Brandon Sterling shared a mutual dislike for one another, but it was also known they never would want to see the other hurt or dead.

Yet…There he was. Dead. Not even on the battle field.

Over the years, Tony had accustomed himself to seeing people die. He watched his brothers die by his side in war, friends die in the field, and worried constantly over his NCIS surrogate family.

Which was why he couldn't understand why he was taking Brandon's death so badly. When you are out in a battle ground, you can't mourn someone who just died next to you, it will only get you a spot on the ground next to them.

This was different though. He had been taken off guard…Never expected to see the face of someone who had been such an impact on his life just…lying there dead.

"Agent DiNozzo? I need you to focus." Sharply, Tony's awareness went back to the car he was now in, speeding down the highway towards NCIS.

"Sorry Mr…?"

"Stewart." The man said patiently "Thomas Stewart." Tony nodded and tried to keep his mind's attention on the stuff that mattered.

"Can you tell me what's going on?" he asked and the lawyer gave a meek nod.

"We should wait until we get back to headquarters though. I'm sure you'll want your team there for support."

Support? Why would he need support? About what? His mind pranced back over to Brandon- how was he going to explain that to them anyways?

Before anything more could be pondered upon though, the car swung into the parking lot and Tony was already making his way up to the Bullpen where Stewart was calmly beginning to organize his files. The man had been frustratingly quiet, not answering any of Tony's question regarding what was going on. He kept insisting that Gibbs and everyone else needed to be there.

"Listen." The agent tried again "I need to know what's going on _now_. My team…They might not know about whatever this is about. I haven't exactly been the most honest person with them."

"Agent DiNozzo, this isn't something I'm about to fill you in on alone. Especially considering your…Unique background on these situations."

"What are you _talking_ about!?" Tony cried out, his hands flailing in exasperation. He'd about had it up to here with this little man. If he didn't get answers soon, shit was about to go down.

Before there was any chance of that though, the ding of the elevator announced his team's arrival. Ziva and McGee followed behind Gibbs with curious looks, bits of concerns touching their expressions as well. Gibbs himself was sporting his usual stoic look, though you could detect bits of a dangerous gleam in his eyes that almost made Tony feel sorry for Thomas Stewart. He felt even sorrier for himself.

"Alright, what the Hell is going on?" Gibbs snapped as he unloaded his weapon and thrust it into his drawer. The movement caused Tony to relax a bit. At least no one was about to be shot. That only left choking, stabbing, and a few other ways he could die.

Thomas Stewart stood up from his files, reaching his full height of about five feet and gave a gesture with his hand for someone to come forward.

"Agent Gibbs?" Tony's head snapped up to find a lanky man in uniform looking into the bullpen hesitantly. His eyes were wide with what must have been apprehension and his fingers were locked tightly together. The marine uniform fitted awkwardly on his clumsy frame.

Gibbs looked over from Stewart, meeting eyes with the man and nodding in acknowledgement. None of that 'saying hello' stuff Tony supposed.

"What can I do for you?" he asked, looking over the Marine with reserved judgment.

"I'm here about Anthony DiNozzo sir."

Gibbs' eyes narrowed slightly and gave a jerk of the head in Tony's direction who gave a small wave.

"Hi!" he grinned, silently wondering if any of this had to do with the e-mail Jake had sent him last night.

"Wait…_You're_ Anthony DiNozzo?"

"Yep. Handsomer than you'd expected?" he joked and the man did a 180 to get a closer look at him.

"Archer described you…Differently." He admitted and Tony froze, looking at him through now narrowed eyes.

"Archer? Jake Archer?" he asked sharply and the man gave a stoic nod, eyeing him over critically.

"Yes sir. He's the one who sent me."

"About the case?"

"Yes sir." The man nodded "He told me that you were on Agent Gibbs MCRT. He said I needed to find you, tell your team the case and then bring you to talk to him."

"The case we are working on now?" Ziva cut in, her expression morphing into something of concern at the new paleness that had entered Tony's face.

"Three Marines ma'am. Staff Sergeant Peter Erickson, Master Sergeant Michael Hammond, and now Corporal Brandon Sterling." The guy rattled off and the Senior Field Agent froze. He knew those names. He knew them well…

"How are they connected?" McGee asked, speaking for the first time.

"They are all in the same unit." Tony spoke up quietly, his voice catching slightly. "The others?"

"You and Jake are the only ones not in protective custody sir." The man told him, his eyes softening.

"Why would DiNozzo be in protective custody?" Gibbs cut in sharply. His face seemed to reveal that he was putting two and two together, but was in denial. No... He would know something like this about his SFA. He knew everything about Tony…Right?

"That is why I am here." Stewart spoke up again "Agent DiNozzo was in the squad that is being targeted."

Everything went quiet.

Tony bit his tongue, searching his team's faces now that the words had been said out loud. Nothing was said for about five minutes before McGee let out a nervous laugh.

"Very funny Tony."

"Funny?" Stewart asked, looking outraged. "You think your team mate in danger is _funny_?!"

"No! I just mean…This…Tony isn't a marine. This is just some joke of his, right? Right Tony?" three sets of eyes seemed to bore deeper into him as the question was asked. "_Right_ Tony?" Taking a deep breath the NCIS agent gave a weak smile and shook his head.

"Nope. Sergeant Anthony DiNozzo at your service."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Tony winced as Gibbs walked passed him, not meeting anyone's eyes and slammed his fist into the elevator button. The ding that followed seemed significantly softer than usual after Gibbs had hit it.

Tony debated about going after him, but decided against it. He knew Gibbs well enough to know he needed to cool down. He was going to make things worse by going down there anyways. Turning his attention to Tim and Ziva, he sighed at their expressions. McGee's was completely blank, either shielding whatever emotion he was feeling or at lost what to think. Ziva's on the other hand, was filled with something of betrayal and contempt.

"Say something." He finally begged.

"What is there to say?" Ziva told him coolly. "You have lied to us. Ten years and not a moment of it was real." From beside him, he could feel the Marine and Stewart shift uneasily at the obvious accusation, but stayed quiet.

"I kept one thing from you, I don't think that makes everything a lie-"

"That is not just _one thing_ Tony!" she yelled "This is not some petty lie! This is something that had _affected your life_! This is something that _makes up _who you _are_!" The words were said so harshly in his ears it took Tony off guard. This conversation was sounding very similiar to one he had with Jeanne a few years back.

"Everything is something that affects your life." Tony told her quietly and watched as her face flushed a dark shade of red from anger. "Besides, if I remember correctly, you haven't always been so honest yourself- I can't say you are now either as a matter of fact."

Taking a haggard breath, the Israeli took a step closer to him and put her finger right up in his face.

"Do not." She breathed shakily "Do not go there Tony."

Silently, Tony grabbed her wrist and slowly pulled her arm down, looking her square in the eyes as he did so.

"It was something I was never ready to tell you."

Giving a humorless laugh, she backed away from him, throwing her hands in the air in complete exasperation. Turning to McGee, he looked at his friend and waited for him to get his words out as well.

"I…I don't get it." Tim told him, running a hand through his hair. "Why wouldn't you tell us? How does Gibbs not know? I've seen your file Tony, it has no mention of you being in the Military."

"I had it removed." Tony replied, ignoring the first question "I did it all legally so…" he trailed off, shrugging helplessly.

"You still have not told us _why_." Ziva interjected again, sitting at the edge of her desk, arms crossed.

"I don't want to talk about it." He told her shortly and she raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"We deserve an answer. I have been in the army. Gibbs was a Marine. You do not see us lying about serving our country. Are you ashamed?"

"Never." The agent snapped back at her "You wouldn't understand."

"Oh, _really_?" she said, her voice mimicking how he usually said the words "I would not? What could have _possibly_ happened? Did someone shoot at you? Kill your friend? Maybe you got roughed up a little bit? Well _that_ Tony, is _war_, and if you cannot talk about it, then maybe you should not have enlisted! I dealt with that every day is Israel! Gibbs dealt with that every day in Afghanistan! We all deal with that every day here!" During the speech, she had begun to stalk up towards him, right up to the point where they were nose to nose and she was yelling in his face.

"You. Wouldn't. Understand." He repeated quietly and watched as dark eyes closed off from him and she disappeared from the room.

"Well…_That_ was a bit of an overreaction." Stewart commented after several moments of heated silence.

"She's hurt." Tim rounded on him, instantly jumping to Ziva's defense. "She just found out her partner has been lying to her for years about who he is. How would you feel?"

"Tim, I've always been the same person." Tony jumped in, cutting off any retort Thomas may have had.

"Maybe." His partner shrugged "Guess I can't really trust you to tell the truth."

Ouch. That one stung. Tony had expected anger though. His team was a group of people who hated showing weakness- how else could they react to try and cover up their hurt? They obviously needed time to cool down, and the ex-marine was more than happy to give them that time.

"I'm sorry." He offered and watched as McGee seemed to struggle with the words, and Tony realized that he didn't apologize to McGee that often- even though there had been times where he should.

"Okay." He finally sighed and Tony stepped forward and grabbed his friend's arm so he would look at him again.

"No, really. I _am_ sorry Tim." Something must have shown in his face, because McGee's expression seemed to melt slightly and he nodded warily.

"Was it really that bad?" he asked, referring to whatever reason Tony had for not telling his team the truth.

"_No…No…No! Please!" _ a high voice shrilled in his head and Tony shuddered.

"Yeah…Yeah it was."

* * *

"_You married?" Jake asked as he handed Tony a cup of cold beans- the only food that they've had the past week or so. Cold beans and boiled water. _

_The fire was crackling over desert ground, creating a scene you would probably see in a cowboy movie. The only difference was there were no cacti here, and no signs of life other than a small group of men. Only two of which were awake. _

"_No." Tony laughed and leaned back "I have…Commitment issues I guess you might call them." He smiled and Jake nodded thoughtfully._

"_I'm going to be…In five months. Her name's Sophie."_

"_Congrats."_

"_I love her Tony." He told him and the now Lance Corporal blinked at the statement. He wondered if he would be able to ever say that about somebody. To say it with such...Certainty. Not a hint of doubt. For the first time ever, he felt envious of his older friend. Because he had someone. _

"_What's she like?" he asked, genially curious of hearing a man's description of a woman whom he loved._

"_Perfect." He shrugged "She's smart…Funny…Beautiful…You know it all sounds so typical when you say it, but you know, those kind of girls are hard to find. Especially ones that are as good as Sophie is. She's the purest soul I've ever met."_

_Tony nodded thoughtfully as he ate his beans, trying to think how best to respond. He had always felt more open with his comrades than he had with anyone else in his life. When you are with a group of people who might see you die at any moment, you feel like you have to leave a piece of yourself inside of them to carry on. _

"_Are you going to keep doing this? You know, once you're married and all?" The younger man asked and Jake frowned thoughtfully._

"_No…Don't think so. I mean, it would be kind of nice wouldn't it? Start a family, be in love, to just live."_

"_Yeah…Yeah it would."_

Tony had met Sophie one time. It was right before she had gotten cancer. She died three days before her wedding.

Life could certainly be a bitch.

One thing he knew for certain though, was that Sophie was one tough nut. Jake's descriptions of her gave no justice. To this day, she held his respect at the highest. Not everyone could find out they're about to die and then calmly offer someone a biscuit. She was something else.

She was also the reason why Tony was standing out in the middle of the night with a box of pizza and determined look on his face as he stood in front of Gibbs' home… She would have wanted him here. She would want him to set things right.

Besides, Marines never run from danger…Though, Gibbs might have to be an exception, Tony decided as he calmly walked through the door and heard the distinct sound of a glass shattering.

Throwing the food to the side, the NCIS agent slid down into the basement, looking for any sign his Boss could be hurt.

Instead he found Gibbs…Well…Sanding a boat, which wasn't too unusual. The broken glass at his feet and bourbon on the ground was concerning, but nothing he hadn't seen before.

It was the saw that was lying next to Gibbs that made Tony uneasy…For obvious reasons.

"Boss?" he called softly, finishing his route down the stairs and slowly making his way next to him.

"You shouldn't be here. I thought they were assigning you protective custody." Tony made a face at the thought of _him _being protected. He was supposed to be the protector- the one who pulled the punches. The very idea of him sitting around in some boring house with annoying guards at his side made him want to vomit.

"Yeah, well, I want to be here."

"Well maybe I don't want you to be." Gibbs snapped harshly. If it had been anybody else in the room with Gibbs, they might have taken the hint and scrammed. This was Tony though, and the man's angry words only hardened his resolve to stay.

"You don't want answers?"

"I don't know DiNozzo." Gibbs told him in a raised voice "Would you give them to me if I asked?" It was a question that demanded an answer, and Gibbs eyes glittered dangerously as he asked it.

"I would." Tony assured him "Look, it was never anything personal-"

"Damn it! Of course it was Tony. How long have we known each other? And you never thought to tell me?"

"It never came up?" Tony tried and immediately regretted the words he had stupidly spoken.

"_It never came up_? We investigate for the Military! I was a Marine! For Christ sakes, you would think it would have come up when I looked at your background- oh wait, it wasn't there."

"I had it taken out."

"Why?" Ugh, that damn question again. It seemed to never cease to haunt him.

"Gibbs-"

"Don't. Just answer. Peoria? Philly?"

"Never worked there, I had it added on in replacement for my Military experience. It got me into Baltimore PD."

"Anyone else know?"

"Never told a soul." This seemed to cause his Boss to slump slightly and lean against his boat.

"What'd you see?" he asked quietly "For you to not tell us?" Tony hesitated, trying to make sure every word he spoke was the truth.

"Lots of things." He admitted, slipping down next to him and Gibbs gave him a look. "Listen…I can honestly say that…I always _had_ planned on telling you. I just… The longer I was on the team, it never seemed like the right time. Gibbs, the things I did…" his voice trailed off before he looked at his friend again "I made some bad choices down there. Did some things I regret. It wasn't really what I _saw_ that got me so messed up…It was just, knowing what I _did_. I don't know I can ever own up to something like that. Then I have Ziva, McGee, and Abby…And Ducky and Jimmy….and you. If I just broke down and told you…I couldn't. You guys trusted me too much. If I had told you the truth I didn't know what that could have done to you guys. How could any of you look at me the same way, knowing what I did out there?"

"It's war Tony. People are forced to do bad things."

"Not like this." The SFA admitted softly and Gibbs sighed, turning to he was facing his agent, tapping his leg so he would turn towards him too.

"Ziva? And McGee? Abby? They wouldn't look at you any damn differently. Same goes for Palmer, Duck, and me. I don't care what you did then. That was then. I only care about what you do now, got that?"

"Yeah…I got it Boss."

"Good. Now as repayment for lying to me…You get to pick a broom and clean up all this glass."

* * *

_Come on DiNozzo! Live a little!" Tony scowled at the man, trying his hardest not to lash out and throw a punch. Brandon Sterling was a little man. Dark hair and beady eyes that flickered around too much. Despite his size though, the guy was an incredible bully._

_"Leave the kid alone Brandon." Peter growled, shooting Tony a small smile. Tony returned the favor, giving a grin in return. Sterling quickly went to sulking, putting his cigarettes away._

_"No fun." He muttered under his breath and Tony rolled his eyes._

_"I don't smoke." He shrugged "You never know when you are going to need your lungs."_

_"Puh-lease." Brandon snorted "Smoking isn't bad for you. It's a stress reliever, idiot. When you're older you'll get it."_

_"When I'm older? We're the same age!"_

_"Well I'm older than both y'all so shut it." Peter warned, pointing his knife at the pair as they argued. The older man had been in between napping and talking for the past hour, and finally seemed to get tired of the two men's constant bickering. His unshaven face made him look slightly more wild, red hair gleaming by the flickering fire._

_"Sorry Pete." Tony yawned, looking around for Jake. Of the ten men in their squad, Jake Archer was definitely his favorite. After his first day of being attacked, Tony had practically glued himself to the man's side._

_"Apology accepted." The man yawned back, falling back into his stupor._

_Brandon snorted and turned back to the campfire, warming his hands. Smiling lightly, Tony rested back trying to enjoy the outdoors. One thing could be said about Afghanistan, the stars were incredible._

_"Hey dork." Jake said, jumping over the log to sit next to Tony._

_"Where were you? Trying to find a mirror to look at that 'oh so beautiful face of yours'?" Tony joked and the older man gave a pose before pushing his friend over._

_"No man, but I'm telling you. With my looks all the bad guys will just be staring at me. Then I can blast their asses."_

_"Oh yeah, cause you are just so beautiful everyone is just going to stare at you."_

_"That's right." He snickered and punched Tony's shoulder "You know it pays to be cocky."_

_"Yeah, people think you're a prick."_

_"There's no thinking with you Tone- You are a prick." Jake snorted, ducking as the younger man aimed a blow at his head._

_"But seriously kid. You might want to take a confidence pill. You don't even really have to think you're better than everyone else, you just need to act like it."_

_"Why exactly?" _

_"That's how you end up fooling people dummy! That strong but silent thing you do? Not going to work. If you want to push people away from you, you gotta build up your mask. Repel people."_

_Tony frowned, looking at his hands. He trusted these people a lot- which was one of the reasons Tony had told Jake about him not exactly liking people to know a lot about him, it seemed as though the older man had found a solution for him._

_"Please." Brandon commented from the other side of the fire. "As if DiNozzo could act cocky."_

"I'm sexy and I know it." Tony sang as he made his way into the bullpen, winking cheekily at Ziva as he walked in. His partner completely ignored him, as if this was an everyday occurrence- which it was.

"Tony." McGee said exasperated a few feet away "Shut up."

"You wound me!" the SFA cried dramatically "I gave you my life…my soul….everything! And you throw me away like trash!"

"Idiot." His team member mumbled beneath his breath. From across the room Ziva looked up and met his eyes. The past night had been enough for her to cool down and if the cupcake on his desk was anything to go by, she was trying to make up for her blow out. Tony didn't see it necessary though, considering she was forgiven the moment she left the office. He could definitely understand her side of the story, and would in no way, hold anything over her for it.

"So," Tony asked, throwing down coffee in front of everyone and nodding the Marine who was still awkwardly standing to the side of the bullpen. "You find anything when I went for coffee?"

"That you should be in protective custody." Ziva told at him "Three men from your unit have been killed."

"Pretty sure we established that much." Tony said, ignoring the other agent's concerned glance. "How were the killed?"

"Shot in the back. Gibbs is having the bodies transferred over to Ducky." Tim jumped in and they both gave him looks as if expecting him to jump up and yell out 'GOT YA! Can't believe you _really_ fell for it!'

Tony, on the other hand, winced at the thought of Peter, Brandon, and Michael all being brought over in body bags…

"Where's Jake?" he asked, remembering that his friend was involved in this as well "Is he being put in custody?"

"Yeah." Gibbs spoke sharply "Ours." Tim and Ziva shared a look as they quietly went back to their work, trying to appear discreet.

"Our protective custody?" Tony asked lightly, attempting to put the puzzle pieces together on why Gibbs sounded so cold.

"No. Just our custody. We have a warrant for his arrest."

"His _what_?" Tony suddenly cried out, jumping up from his desk. Gibbs did the same, snatching the remote for the TV and pulling up pictures of the three dead Marines.

"He was with each of them when they died DiNozzo." Gibbs replied coolly. "We need to question him."

"Um. No. No you really don't." Tony stepped in, glaring heatedly at his Boss. "Jake didn't do this."

"_This_ is the reason you are no longer on this case."

"What!? Since when am I not on this case? I have every right to be here!"

"You're too close obviously. What if Archer did do it?"

"He didn't."

"You can't know that."

"I _do_. He _didn't_ do it!" Tony said, resisting the urge to bang his hands on something for emphasis. Gibbs quickly grabbed his elbow, spinning him around so he faced the plasma.

"_Look_." He hissed quietly and Tony held his breath as three familiar faces looked glassily back at him. "Do you want _them_ to have died without justice just because you don't think your friend can kill?"

_"Peter! Run!"_

_"I'm coming!"_

_"Run!"_

_"I said I'm coming! Michael duck!"_

_"Brandon!"_

The wave of complete terror washed over him. The corpses' face on the TV so white. The glassy eyes watching him blankly. Peter…Michael…Brandon…

For a second it was like he couldn't remember how to breathe. Their faces were the only thing in his mind, and the images were literally suffocating him. Swirling around so fast he couldn't really make sense of anything, but their voices flowing around in the back of his head.

"Easy." Someone said and Tony felt something grip his arm. Acting on instinct, he grabbed the offenders wrist and went to snap it off when something snatched his hand. Feeling a rise of panic he went to attack only to be stopped short by the voice again.

"Hey! DiNozzo!" the person said sharply and Gibbs' face swam back to the surface, causing his body to instantly relax. Home. Not Afghanistan. Right. "Take it easy." His boss said, this time a little more gently, no doubt feeling more sympathetic towards Tony as he took the faces off the screen.

"See why you can't do this?" Gibbs asked, not unkindly. It was more as if he was trying to get Tony to see reason more than anything.

"Jake didn't do it." He muttered and this time, his boss didn't respond.

* * *

_"He turned five today." Michael said smugly as he walked into the small shelter that nine other men lied in. _

_"Not uh." Brandon said from his bunk "You said that last month."_

_"He says that every month!"_

_"Shut up! I know my own son's birthday!" Michael growled at them all and Jake looked over at Tony who was watching his comrade intently. _

_"Did you get to talk to him?" Tony asked the solider and Michael grinned, choosing a seat on the other side of him. _

_"Yeah. Him and Caroline." Michael sighed and Tony felt Jake stiffen beside him, no doubt thinking about his beloved Sophie who's death must still be fresh on his mind. _

_"How are they?" _

_"Good. Caroline says Leo is loving kindergarten." He said, speaking fondly of his son and wife as he pulled out the usual picture that he kept with him. A small boy and woman were beaming up at him. "This is going to be my last tour. I swear. Then I get to stay with them."_

_"Yeah right." Brandon snarked from his bed. "Everyone says that, and still ends up in this hell hole. Got nothing better to do with your life."_

_"You mean _you_ don't Brandon." Jake jumped in harshly, gripping the single ring that had belonged to his wife closely to his chest as it hung by his dog tag._

_"Hush over there!" Peter snapped, poking his head out "Do you want to get us all in trouble?"_

_"What are we five?" Jake muttered and nudged Tony "You want to go out tonight Tone?"_

_"Out?" the now twenty-five year old asked "Out where?" he asked and watched a feral smile crawl over the man's face._

_"Hunting."_

* * *

**Hey everyone (: So...Remember how I said I basically had this story all written? Ha. Well, I lied. Actually I didn't lie, my motherboard crashed, getting rid of ALL my files...Back to square one for me :( Ah well. Thanks for all your amazing reviews! I hope this chapter lived up to everyone's expectations (:**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

"No way. Not going to happen." Tony said, glaring heatedly at the Thomas Stewart who was looking desperately at Gibbs for support.

"Sergeant- I mean Agent DiNozzo, this isn't really a choice. You have to-"

"I don't have to do a damn thing!" Tony spat out in total disgust and once more the other man looked at Gibbs for back up.

"DiNozzo, it is protective custody. Deal with it."

"Boss, I'm not going to-"

"Oh yes you are." Gibbs quickly cut him off and Tony frowned, looking as though he had expected Gibbs to side with him.

"But-"

"Not up for debate." He said and Tony gave a frustrated sigh.

"Come on. Gibbs!" he called as his Boss began to retreat away from him. "This- these people are important to me okay? Let me help."

"DiNozzo…" Gibbs sighed, finally turning around to look at his agent.

"What would you have done if someone had told us we weren't allowed to hunt down Ari because he was a threat to our lives? After he killed Kate?" Tony challenged and Gibbs watched with a critical eye. "Please?" Tony asked quietly "Just for a little bit?" There was a long pause in which everyone looked at the pair with their breathes held in case someone burst from the anger and tension.

"One shot." Gibbs told him, holding up a finger "One punch, one kick, one knife thrown your way and you're done. Understand?"

"Got it Boss." The younger man grinned giddily and turned to his co-workers. "We got anything good?"

"Well…" McGee said turning to his friend "We could use some more Intel On your squad. Could you…?"

"Sure thing Probie-Wan." Tony said, a little hesitantly. "I'll tell you everything you need to know." There was an awkward pause in which the four agents looked at one another, each wondering who was going to say what first.

"Was there anyone who would want you dead?"

"Aside from the Taliban and the Afghanis whose home we were invading? Not that I can think of."

"Anyone know who you were specifically?"

"Nope. Well, I mean everyone at the camp knew who we were of course."

"Anybody in your squad maybe?" Ziva asked carefully and Tony threw her a nasty look.

"Sorry, but no. No one in my unit was a back stabbing killer." He said sharply "and that _includes_ Jake." He added and McGee gave a skittish look.

"How many people were in your squad?" he asked and Tony ticked them off on his fingers.

"Ten in total. Me, Jake, Peter, Michael, Brandon, Alex, Scott, Ben, Ron, and Dale. Alex and Ben died in combat right before I left though… Dale went MIA a little while after that. Don't know what happened to Ron and Scott though, I guess they are still serving. Then, well. You know about Peter, Michael, and Brandon." He finished and let his eyes fall forward slightly.

"Why isn't your name on here?" McGee frowned, pulling up files and photos on the plasma. "I see Ben Craig, Dale Benson, Ronald Tristan, Jake Archer, Scott Johnson, Alex Sass, Brandon Sterling, Michael Hammond, and Peter Erickson all on here… There is another name but it isn't yours Tony."

"AJ Dillon?" Tony suggested as he leaned back on his chair. "That's me. AJ was for Anthony Junior. When I got my service erased, they let me change my name on the files. I had to pick something that could kind of be connected to me." There was a pause in which he could tell Tim was trying to resist the urge to press his name and read the file.

"Is there… umm…Anything else you can tell us?" he asked nervously, shifting away from the computer and Tony blinked, giving an intense look.

"Well… I mean…" he broke off nervously "I don't know if it is related…"

"Anything can be related Tony." Ziva told him gently "You know that." Biting his tongue, Tony began to absently rub his hands together as if cold.

"We weren't supposed to be out there. But there wasn't a lot of food left, and Jake had this idea…"

* * *

_"Jake! What are you doing?" Tony hissed as his friend laughed and jumped over a pack, his face glowing in the midst of the moonlight._

_"I told you we were going hunting tonight." He teased lightly and pulled out his backpack._

_"Hunting for what exactly?" Tony asked, but got only a cheeky grin in response. Sighing, he followed the older marine across the ground, sand and dust swirling at their feet. _

_The moon hung high in the sky, illuminating all of the camp as the two rogue Marines drifted around, ducking out of the way of the border patrols as they made their way father out to the more secluded part of their temporary home. _

_"Seriously, Jake." Tony said, stepping in front of his friend "You need to tell me what we're doing man." The other Marine gave a quick roll of his eyes before gesturing his friend to peer into his pack._

_"I told you. Hunting." _

_"Jake, we can't go shooting off the Taliban in the middle of the night. Do you realize how stupid and dangerous that is? Not to-"_

_"Whoa. Calm yourself. I wasn't talking about humans. Breathe Tony." Jake told him, grabbing his arm in attempts to make sure the younger man didn't hyperventilate._

_"Then what!?" _

"_I saw some wolves around the edge of camp. Can you imagine eating meat after living on those damn beans for so long?" Jake whispered, his voice longing. Rolling his eyes, Tony made a coughing sound and gestured to the tents full of sleeping soldiers._

_"Yeah. And how do we keep them asleep while we fire off guns?" he asked and Jake reached into his bag, flipping out two knives that glistened perilously in the starlight._

_"Who said anything about guns?"_

_"You're insane! You dragged me here to hunt _wolves _of all things…With knives? In the middle of the night?"_

_"You say that like it's a bad idea." _

_"Jake!" Tony groaned and stopped at the line which ended their camp. From the right, he could see his friend smiling, pulling out his knife and punching Tony lightly in the shoulder. _

_"Oh come on Tone. It isn't like we're going to be going out far. Plus we fight things scarier than wolves. What's the worst that can happen?"_

* * *

"Tony?" the agent felt his head jerk back into present time as his name was repeated. "Oh. Sorry." He said, with a small laugh. "Guess I zoned out."

"Do you need a minute?"

"What? No! Jeez guys. I'm not an _actual_ victim or witness. Breathe a little." Tony told them quickly, looking affronted at their obvious lack of faith in him.

From across from him, he could feel Ziva's eyes narrow with suspicion and he winced. If anyone could figure out what happened next in his little story, it would be Ziva. She, of all people, would understand the best he was sure.

"Maybe you should just look at the file." He said, gesturing towards the plasma. Part of him felt a little exposed, knowing that everything he tried to forget could be brought out with his partner clicking a button, but he supposed he kept this all covered long enough.

"Go on." He told them at their incredulous looks and tried to keep his voice light "You have my blessing younglings." Slowly, Tim started to move the mouse, causing Ziva to roll her eyes and Tony to scoff at the overdramatic movement.

"What? I'm giving you time to change your mind!" Tim defended and the agent in question smiled lightly, shaking his head at the offer.

"Sergeant AJ Dillon." Ziva read out loud as the photo popped up "Oh wow." She commented and the SFA felt his eyebrows raise at her tone.

"Oh wow?" he repeated as Ziva gave him an appalled look.

"What _happened_?" she told him jokingly.

"Hey!" he grouched, looking at the picture of his much younger self. Personally, he didn't think he looked all that different. Well…Maybe a little. More…Professional maybe. And a lot more impressive, he admitted to himself and made a face. He didn't like to look so serious, and the thought of him being intimidating always had bothered him in certain situations. It was one thing to terrorize a criminal, another to daunt a friend. Looking at the stoic photo again, he silently congratulated himself in becoming a much more exultant person.

"You look very handsome Tony." Ziva complimented with a witty smile and Tony stuck his tongue out.

"Thanks. Knew you always thought so." He teased back, noticing for the first time, how…clear his eyes used to be. Metaphorically of course. They were a lot more guiltless looking then.

"Look at that DiNozzo. AJ Dillon is a doppelganger of you." Gibbs commented as he walked back into the bullpen, his eyes resting on Tony's military picture.

"That's because-" McGee started and cut himself off "Oh…You already know its Tony…Okay then, moving on. Let's see…AJ Dillon entered the Core when he was 24, and served for three years with three tours. He was honorably discharged after…after…" there was that long pause in which Tony's face went blank and he looked at his probie with a small smile.

"It's alright. You can say it." He told him and McGee blinked, his eyes searching his friend in obvious shock.

"After being held as a prisoner of war for three months."

* * *

_"Yes!" Jake punched the air triumphantly as he looked at the dead wolf, already licking his lips in anticipation of the delicious meal he'd make. Tony laughed and wiped his blade clean on his pants, grinning at his friend's enthusiasm. _

_"We're going to be heroes once everyone sees this baby. God, I can't believe it! Look at this damn size of the thing!" Jake beamed and threw his arm around Tony "Thanks for coming with me man, you know how much I needed it."_

_"Yeah, yeah." He snorted "I know you go crazy when you don't do something stupid every other day. I didn't really have a choice. You would have decided to go waltz into combat later without a gun if I held out on you too long." _

_The laugh echoed throughout the empty desert. Tony had to admit, it was nice to get away from camp for a little while- not that they were out all that far, only a couple yards…Really. They could still see it after all. Which was probably the reason their whole platoon could see them._

_"What the HELL are you two doing?" Peter yelled and both men jumped, looking up guiltily._

_"Aw, shit." Jake muttered and then smiled at Tony, ruffling his hair. "Don't worry kid. I'll take the fall on this one."_

_"You always take the fall." Tony snorted, shaking his head._

_"Yep, and you want to know the best part? As senior I can order you to shut your mouth and let me every single time." He said and waved over to Peter. "HEY! We got some meat over here if you're interested!" he called over, and instantly heads from all tents began to pop out, looking a lot like those sea gulls in Finding Nemo._

_"Meat?" all of them began to ask and Jake grinned, grabbing one end of the wolf. _

_"Damn this bitch is heavy." He groaned and dropped it "Either that or I need to get in better shape. Here, I'm going to-" there was a sudden choking sound and Tony flipped around to ask Jake what he was doing when something cold went across his mouth. For the next few seconds he couldn't breathe. His sight was blurred and everything began to spin for a couple minutes, the noise seemingly louder._

_"TONY!" somebody yelled and he could hear the rest of the camp beginning to assemble and yell orders as Tony pulled out his knife to gut his captor. "JAKE!" the same person yelled and suddenly, his hand was gripped and the knife vanished. _

_"We have about three hundred guns aimed at your camp right now." Somebody whispered in his ear "If you don't want us to shoot them all dead right now, I would suggest you cooperate." Fear panged in Tony's stomach and he instantly allowed himself to go limp, in hope the man would get the message he understood and agreed to the deal._

_Then everything went black._

* * *

"What?" Ziva asked sharply and Tony sighed, crossing his legs as he now sat on top of his desk.

"Yep. You want to know the worst part? They couldn't even keep me a prisoner in a nice hotel. It had to be in some old cave looking place. No manners." He said as lightly as he could, trying to erase the images of his squad's face right before they had been snuck up on. It was clear that the captors used Tony and Jake's life for leverage so that they wouldn't shoot. It was even clearer that the unit was going to go after them the moment the opportunity presented itself.

Tony swore he could feel all three of their eyes on him, either pity or sympathy eradicating from his team mates. Annoyed at the prospect, Tony grabbed the remote out of McGee's hand and clicked the next screen.

"The greatest trick the devil pulled, is convincing the world he didn't exist." He said and rolled his eyes at the looks he got "Seriously? You don't know _The Usual Suspects_? God…I just…You know what? Never mind." He told them and let the rest of his file show up.

"Black op huh?" Gibbs commented as he let his eyes fall over the pages that were illuminated by the plasma.

"Just one. It was pretty cool though. Think of _Terminator_ and _Star Wars_ mixed." Tony answered. In truth, it had been terrifying, but they didn't need to know that.

"You were decorated." Ziva said in surprise as she scanned over the records. Thinking back to the conversation they had in the elevator after the whole war games disaster, Tony couldn't resist adding.

"What was it you once said to me? That if I had had any military experience I would have learned to follow orders?" he asked with an innocent look on his face. "How's that for experience?" Ziva glared while Tony simply smiled back, pleased for opportunity to rub the words back into her face.

Snorting, Gibbs took the remote from Tony and threw it to McGee who clicked it to the next person.

"Jake Archer. Joined the Corps when he was 21, met Tony when he was around thirty. Let's see…Nothing that really sticks out. A couple of referrals in his files, but nothing to serious. It says here that he convinced a younger marine out of the camp and they both got taken as POWs… Was that you?"

"Yeah. Jake couldn't stand to be boring. He had to live on an adrenaline rush. Earlier that day Michael was talking about his family and…Well, it was hard because he'd just lost his wife. He needed to do something dangerous."

"Did he need to drag you into it?" Gibbs asked darkly, glaring at the picture of Archer with obvious dislike.

"I had to make sure he didn't get himself killed. You know how it is." Tony shrugged at his boss "If one of you guys decided to go off and…Oh I don't know, go rescue someone without telling me and then drive your car into a river, I would be there." He said with a pointed glare. Gibbs rose his eyebrows at Tony's defensiveness towards the Archer character, but couldn't help but feel slightly amused at the reference he used.

"Yeah." He said dryly "How about going off on secret missions without telling anybody and then getting your car blown up?" There was a challenging note in his voice in which the two gave the other a disputing look.

"Ziva, McGee. Go down to Abby." He instructed and the two agents slowly made their way out of the room, throwing inquisitive looks their shoulders as they went.

"Prisoner of war?" Gibbs asked quietly after they had left and Tony folded his hands on his lap at the tone.

"Yeah." He admitted

* * *

_"_بیدار شوید ... شما باید از خواب بیدار.آنها می آیند غ"_A voice spoke softly as Tony felt himself rouse, pain announcing itself throughout his whole body as he moved. _

_"Hmm?" he groaned and there was a small gasp, causing his eyes to fly open._

_"No!" there was a trifling cry and the pressure that had just been on his leg disappeared as something scrambled away from him._

_"Whoa!" he jumped, looking around. It was dark, sunlight creeping in through small holes in what appeared to be wood that kept them hidden away next to what felt to be a rock wall. Heat pressed up against him, making the marine feel as though he was confined in an oven._

_"Jake?" he whispered, looking around for the other Marine._

_To Tony's right, the little figure that had been on him a moment ago was crying. The man looked closer to see it was a little girl, about nine or ten years old._

_"No…No!" she moaned when Tony looked at her and she covered her face, fat tears falling from her eyes._

_"Hey…Hey it's alright there kid. I'm not going to hurt you." He told her and dark eyes looked at him searchingly. He had never been too great with kids. He couldn't really understand what having a normal childhood was like to really connect with them, but he supposed this little girl wasn't having that much of a normal childhood either if her being locked up with him was anything to judge by._

_"No." she whispered and Tony grimaced, hoping that that wasn't her only word of English. _

_"Alright." He agreed and looked down at his body. He was soaking wet, though from something other than sweat he decided and touched his rumpled clothes._

_Water. Glancing around, he looked for the source, knowing that considering he was trapped in the middle of the desert, water was going to be hard to come by. Finally, he spotted a small bowl in the corner of the room with a washcloth. _Well damn,_ Tony thought as he looked back towards the shaking figure. The girl had been taking care of him._

_"Thank you." He told her and she watched him blankly, little hands covering her face. "What's your name?" he tried again and this time she flinched, looking anywhere but him. Okay…Different approach then._

_"Tony." He said pointing to himself and this time the girl gave him a small look. _

_"Tony." She whispered and he nodded approvingly._

_"Yep. Tony. You?" he asked quietly gesturing to her. She flinched away momentarily before taking a deep breath._

_"Zohura." She whispered and Tony smiled and nodded._

_"Pretty." He told her and she gave him a questioning look. His mind flickered back then. As a marine, he was required to know bits of Persian in case he needed to talk to a local- which was pretty much the situation here. The bad news was that he could only remember a few words._

_"Where are we?" he asked her quietly in a rough translation. The girl looked at him for a moment before letting out a small giggle, obviously whatever he had asked had not come out right._

_"You silly." She whispered back in Persian, and Tony smiled, wondering what on earth he had said._

_"Where?" he tried and this time Zohura nodded and covered her face with a ragged cloth._

_"Trapped." She said, this time in English, her voice trembling._

* * *

"Tony." Gibbs shook his agent gently regaining his attention "Are you alright?"

"What? Yeah. Yeah of course." He told him and let his hands fall to his sides.

"You never told me."

"No." Tony agreed and then turned back to his Boss "Do you know what the name Zohura means?" he asked bitterly and Gibbs gave him a questioning look, but shook his head.

"Innocence."

* * *

"I don't know why he wouldn't tell us this… I mean, he is family right? And family doesn't lie to other family right? Right?" Abby said through tears as she let her hands shake over the keyboard. Ziva and McGee looked at loss what to do as she hit her computer with vehement anger.

"They hurt him!" she yelled "They hurt him and we never knew!" McGee bit his lip and ventured into the dangerous area Abby had created.

"Nobody knew Abs… Besides, Tony is fine now and-"

"Oh, you think that just because he's alive he's fine? Do you know what they could have done to him McGee? Do you?"

"Abby-"

"Torture. They probably tortured him McGee. Over and over again. I bet it-" she stopped suddenly and looked over at Ziva who had gone a strange shade of white that didn't suit her. They all seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

Somalia.

Ziva to this day, didn't talk about what happened there. She probably never would- Did…Did Tony go through the same thing?

The heart wrenching silence was interrupted by Gibbs and Tony's entrance.

"What do you got Abs?" he asked and when the Goth's eyes latched onto Tony, he took her shoulders and moved her back towards her computer.

"Stuff." She said quietly and tried to turn back to her friend, but Gibbs quickly stood in between them and gave her a warning look.

"Abby." He told her quietly and she let out a small choke before turning back.

"Well... Ducky is with the…Body now. He gave me samples to run on Brandon Sterling. He was shot with a CAI C93 Sporter Rifle in the back." Abby told them "Looking at how the bullet came out, it looks like the killer was directly against the victim's back when he was shot. Well, not the killer, but the gun I mean. I also looked into Sterling's phone records to see if anything hinky was going on there and I found that within the past three hours he placed sixteen calls to a Jake Archer. You guys know of him yet?" Abby asked, trying to slip around Gibbs slowly so she could grab Tony and hug him.

"Oh yeah. We know him." Gibbs muttered darkly and turned back towards his Senior Field Agent.

"You're not going into protective custody?" he asked him and Tony shook his head resolutely.

"Fine. We're going to your place to pack a bag."

"Meaning…?" Tony asked warily and his Boss gave a look that brooked no argument.

"Meaning you're staying with me tonight DiNozzo." Gibbs told him dangerously, and Tony opened his mouth in objection before he was cut off again. "Don't." he warned and then turned to Ziva and McGee.

"Go find Archer."

"Boss! You can't seriously-"

"I'm sorry, did I miss the part where I retired and went back to Mexico?"

"What?! No, but-"

"Then you're not calling shots right now." He snapped at him and gave Abby a quick kiss on the cheek. "Good work." Her murmured and Abby wiped some mascara away from her face.

"Keep him safe." She muttered back and pushed past him, latching herself onto Tony. She didn't say a word, but Gibbs figured that was because she was too emotionally drained to really do much else.

"Come on." He finally said, pulling his agent away from the lab "Let's go."

* * *

_"Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes. Head, shoulders knees and toes, knees and toes. Two eyes, two ears, a mouth, and a nose…" Tony sang in a whisper, pointing to each body part as he said it. Zohura copied each movement, whispering the lyrics to the silly song herself._

_It had been a week since Tony was thrown in here. During which Tony was trying desperately to gain the little girl's trust, teaching her English words when he could and trying to hold the little conversation they could. It was hard though, they had no food, and little water. Zohura had hesitantly showed him that there were certain bugs on the floor in which they could eat, but not much else. He could already feel his body shutting down, and still none of their captors had come to visit._

_Jake was nowhere to be found._

_"This." Zohura asked after the song had finished. She was pointing to her stomach and looked at him expectantly._

_"Stomach." He told her, pointing to his own abdomen._

_"Stomach hurts." She told him quietly and Tony frowned, studying her over again. She was small for her age and incredibly fragile looking. Dark hair was about to her elbows and her eyes were the color of coal. She was really, very pretty, but insisted on covering her entire body with an itchy piece of cloth whenever she heard the smallest of noises. Tony could only guess that it was because the captors were Taliban and wanted all women to be covered, even ten year old girls. Of course, he reasoned, it could also just be because she was Muslim and she wanted to be covered. Possibly the ladder._

_Tony looked around for anything to eat, and sighed when there was nothing. They were dying. He had to get out soon, and hopefully find Jake, if he was still alive._

_Zohura though…He wasn't for sure how he would bring her, but knew he couldn't leave her anyway._

_"Tony?" she asked quietly and the Marine looked at her, puzzled as to why she was now crying and hiding in a corner of the small room._

_"What is it Zoe? What's wrong?" _

_"Here." She cried harder and Tony felt confusion as to what that meant. Then, the door that had been barricaded and sealed earlier flung open and he understood._

_Their captors were finally here._

* * *

"Pack." Gibbs told him once they reached his apartment and Tony looked his boss.

"Gibbs, Jake didn't do this." The older man ignored him, instead opting to pull out Tony's bag and thrust it at him.

"Gibbs…" Tony tried again, not caring if he was acting annoying.

"No." his Boss finally snapped "DiNozzo, I'm not going through this again. I'm letting you work this case, but you can't if you defend a suspect."

"He's officially a suspect now?"

"Look at the facts Tony! He is the _only_ lead we have to go on right now. What do you think?"

"I _think_ that he's being framed Gibbs. Come on, I know this guy better than anyone else in the world."

"No. You think you know him. Tony…This guy is not your friend." He said and watched as his agent threw his hands up in exasperation, stalking out of the room. Gibbs paused, taking in every aspect of his friend's apartment. He'd been here a only few times. Mainly when DiNozzo and him were together outside of work, it was always at his place. Now though, he was beginning to analyze things that he'd never noticed before.

A small American flag was lying on top of one of Tony's tables. A couple of notes and letters that were still sealed were stashed in a box, looked as though they refused to be touched. Gibbs frowned, moving over towards the discreet table and taking a closer look. Before, he'd never given it a second thought, now though, he couldn't help but wonder if they were linked to his agent's past life.

Opening the box, he shifted letters aside and found what he had already suspected to be in there. Dog tags. Tony's name was scratched neatly into them, his age and rank as well. But Gibbs attention was quickly diverted once he saw something else on the chain. A small clay bead was sloppily formed into something that looked like an animal, wrapped around the chain. Carefully, Gibbs picked it up and examined it.

"She gave it to me." Gibbs looked over to see Tony leaning against the doorway, staring at the dog tags in his hand, a haunted look settled on his features.

"Zohura." He guessed, remembering Tony mentioning the name earlier.

"Yeah." He said, a mixture of sadness and bitterness intertwining on his face. "She made it when… When we were… Trapped." His voice sounding barely restrained. Shaking his head, the agent stood up and shouldered his bag. "We should go now."

Gibbs didn't reply. Instead he gently set the chain on the table, making sure it was visible to the ex-marine and walked out the door.

* * *

"What do you got for me Duck?" Gibbs asked as he walked into autopsy, his eyes slightly red from the lack of sleep.

"A lot of questions Jethro. I've been hearing a lot about our Anthony lately." The elderly doctor announced, toddling over to the agent.

"Is it true? That he was a marine?" Jimmy asked, sticking his head from under an autopsy table. At Gibbs questioning look he gestured to the tools scattered on the floor. "Kind of knocked them over." He admitted with embarrassment.

"You never stop being a marine Palmer." Gibbs told him and strode over to Ducky.

"He never said anything."

"The body Ducky." Gibbs prompted, ignoring the silent question.

"Well, it is quite simple really. This poor man was shot in the back. It split his spinal cord in half, killing him instantly."

"Time of death?"

"Hm…I would estimate about three days prior to when you found him. Also, you should know that he was not killed where you found him. These bruises on his wrist indicate he was held hostage at the time of his death, in somewhere warm, if his blood levels are anything to go by."

"Was he tortured?" Gibbs asked, moving to look at Brandon Sterling's face. It was strange to think that this puny man knew more about his agent at one point than he did.

"Unfortunately so. Mr. Sterling here was starved for one thing, as well as shocked, beaten- especially so on the soles of his feet. If you look closely here, you'll also see that at one point he was hung by his wrist, and if his lungs are anything to go by, drowned and then revived again. I suspect when the other bodies come in, I will have similar findings." There was a long pause in which Ducky took a deep breath before continuing interlacing his gloved fingers together.

"Jethro…You should probably know that these are all recent injuries and…they are all very popular forms of torture in Afghanistan."

"Yeah…I know Duck." Gibbs sighed and ran a hand over his face "Whoever did this…Might know what happened to DiNozzo when he was taken as prisoner."

"I pray we are wrong." Ducky added in quickly, covering up Sterling's face. Gibbs said nothing, simply putting both hands on the metal table, looking at the corpse with no expression.

"What I want to know." He finally ground out "Is how two other marines were killed, and us not knowing about it. Especially since it's connected with one of my agents. Why is this only coming up to us now?"

"I hate to say it Jethro." Ducky told him sadly "but it may have something to do with our dear Director."

Gibbs gave a dark chuckle and looked heavenward with a dangerous look on his face.

"Oh yeah Duck. I thought of that. It's my next stop." he told him, straightening up so he could stalk out of the room before the Scotts man called him back.

"Jethro…Where is Anthony?"

"My house."

"He's there voluntarily?" Ducky asked surprised and Gibbs actually laughed.

"Nope. I put in some pain medications with his water. Knocked him right out. My neighbor is making sure he doesn't wake up and do anything stupid." Gibbs told him and finished his exit, leaving Jimmy to look at his boss wide eyed.

"Doctor…Is that legal?"

"I don't think so my dear boy." Ducky said cheerily and began to pack up their newest member of the morgue.

* * *

_"No…No…No!" the Zohura's voice echoed throughout the chamber as Tony was dragged through the room, the heat hitting him square in the face with much more fierceness than ever._

_"Shut it!" one of the men hissed and instantly the nine year old went silent. Tony winced as he felt his body thrown against something hard and his hands being forced behind him._

_"Well, well." A voice sneered with distaste "An American." _

_Blinking back any blurriness, Tony looked up to see his captor's face for the first time._

_It was cruel looking, scars crossing tan skin and rough callouses appearing in certain spots. Beady eyes looked thirstily at him and he cracked his knuckles threateningly._

_"Look here Mr. USA," he whispered as he crouched down to look the marine square in the eyes. "I have got some questions for you. You are going to answer. Are we clear?"_

_"And if I don't?" Tony asked boldly and the man laughed stroking his beard. _

_"Oh how very amusing." He said with an accented voice "But I think you will cooperate. You see, the little girl is here too. I do not think she will like to watch us hurt you, no?" Peering around the man, Tony saw Zohara shivering against the wall, watching him with wide eyes as the two men beside held her still so she was forced to look at him._

_"Why is she here anyways?" Tony asked in disgust "What did a nine year old do to you? Show you up? How pathetic." He commented and the sharp slap echoed throughout the room._

_"Her mother and father refuse to join our cause." The man spat "So we thought that their daughter could convince them." There was a small sniffle and Tony winced when he saw Zohura shudder as the men held their grip tighter on her._

_"It is a shame." He continued "Now that you have exposed her of your filthy American ways… We'll have to kill her once her parents agree to our terms." Instantly Tony felt as though his stomach plunged into ice cold water. That evil son of a…_

_"Hey, whoa. Let's all calm down now. Breathe a little bit. First of all, Zohura here really doesn't need to see this. She didn't do anything and-" he was cut off at the man hitting him again, this time with more force._

_"I would not speak if I were you." He warned harshly before giving him a sideways look. "But if the girl means so much to you…" The captor let a small smile begin to spread over his face before gesturing the men to turn Zohura around._

_"We will play a little game." He continued "She cannot see you, no? So if you do not scream…She will not know you are getting hurt at all. Let us see how long you can last without making a noise." He beamed, as if the very thought of it was a truly spectacular idea. Cursing under his breath, Tony realized there was no way of getting out of this, no matter what way he put it. Gripping the arms of the chair tighter, Tony began to count inside his head, hoping that the numbers would provide him with enough distraction._

_"Let the fun begin." His captor said._

* * *

**So...I'm back from the dead (: Really sorry about the wait... Don't have much to say right now actually. At this point I just kind of want to collapse and sleep for days if you know what I mean :P lol I promise to get the next chapter up faster. Please review!**

**~Kensi**


	5. Chapter 5

_Previously on NCIS _(I decided I better add these if I'm going to go so long without updating)

_Gibbs has sent Ziva and Tim to get Jake Archer, an old combat friend of Tony's who might be responsible for the murders of the other men from his unit. The team has recently discovered Tony's status as a marine and learned of his POW days... Though nothing was given in great detail. Finally, Gibbs is going to speak to the director of the question of why he is only finding out about this case now, when there had been two other bodies found... _

Chapter 5:

"Leon, I am not in the mood to argue right now."

Leon Vance looked up warily at his agent and sighed, watching as the older man placed both palms flat on his desk and leaned forward so their faces were relatively close. As director of NCIS, Vance knew something like this would happen, and he knew that when Gibbs found out about it, he was to be pissed. Looking at the situation right now? The man did not disappoint.

"Well that's good. Neither am I." he replied, trying to keep his voice neutral. Gibbs' lips pursed, and his face tightened. For a man who claimed that he kept all his employees at arm's length…He could get incredibly protective over them. Of course, Vance knew that Anthony DiNozzo was a special case. For reasons Vance had yet to figure, the stoic agent had a soft spot for the kid.

"Then you better explain and explain now. I have a marine in the morgue that is connected with two other deaths that were both marines. Why haven't I heard about the other two until now?"

"Until this point in time, they were none of your concern."

"Then whose concern where they Leon? Enlighten me."

"Gibbs. Michael Hammond's body washed up somewhere in Mexico. He wasn't even in America. When I sent agents down to collect the body, they had met Archer and informed me of DiNozzo."

"So you didn't assign us to the case because Tony knew the guy?" Gibbs asked, his voice which was deathly quietly, slowly beginning to rise in anger "You're telling me, that you _knew_ and not only did you not tell me, but you allowed my agent to roam around without the knowledge that someone might try to hurt him!?" he asked dangerously.

"At that point in time it was not classified as anything related to Agent DiNozzo." Leon started in reasonable tone, only to be cut off by a very angry agent.

"Yeah? What about when Peter Erickson died? Did you not get even a little suspicious?"

"Of course I did. Though it was highly doubtful."

"And now there is a third victim in DC. In Washington. Where Tony is. The psycho could be lurking around any corner." The team leader muttered, looking disgusted at the very prospect.

"You know, I'm thinking you might be getting too close to this."

"You pull me off I'll just keep looking and digging. Then I'll kick the guy's ass and make sure you look bad." He threatened and Leon resisted the strong urge to roll his eyes.

"Gibbs, let me just point something out to you. Do honestly think you can sit there and _just _arrest somebody who possibly hurt your agent before? Someone who could have even tortured him?" he asked quietly and watched as hatred and anger clouded the older man's eyes.

"No. I'm not. But I sure as hell _am_ sure that I could never let someone who is trying to hurt my agent not pay." Gibbs told him and finally backed away from the director's desk, pinning him with his usual piercing blue eyed stare "I'm glad we're clear on that."

* * *

Ziva couldn't decide whether she hated Jake Archer or not. Usually, she was a good judge of character. However, staring at what was her team mate's old best friend, and could be murderer…She wasn't for sure.

Archer had been easy enough to find. In fact, he had been waiting for them outside his hotel, looking as though he has been patiently sitting there for them to come.

It was probably the easiest arrest of the Mossad Officer's career. Archer just waved and hoped on in, asking if they were NCIS or not. Then he held out his hands for the cuffs and that was that.

Absolutely bewildering.

Every so often, Jake would make a comment on the ride home, mostly about her driving, which apparently he didn't find up to par. Other times, he would ask about Tony, in which Tim and Ziva would both ignore him.

"You _do_ work with Tony right?" he asked skeptically about five minutes later.

"Yes." Ziva told him tightly and swerved to avoid another car.

"Where is he?"

No answer. Ziva just simply went and gave a sharp turn, praying that she didn't end up crashing the car…Again in the midst of her anger. Probably sensing that he was on thin ice, Jake Archer went quiet, observing the two agents through narrow eyes as they drove. After a bit more time had passed, Ziva spoke.

"I want to make something clear to you." She told him, her eyes not leaving the road. From beside her, McGee threw a questioning look, but didn't speak. "If you are in any way, shape, or form trying to hurt my partner… I will not be happy." She told him darkly. McGee blinked, hearing the very dangerous underlying threat, but apparently Archer didn't.

"Really?" he asked lightly "A pretty thing like you doesn't seem too scary…Well, at least once you're out of the car." Ziva's smile looked slightly feral at the comment, and without another word, she took her hand away from the steering wheel and flicked it back nonchalantly. Tim almost laughed at the small yelp that came from the back seat when the knife landed itself right next to Archer's head.

"Do we have an understanding?" she asked coolly, and Archer gritted his teeth, watching as Tim ripped the knife from the car and brought it back up front with him.

"We'll have a better one the moment I see Tony." He told her with clear dislike now etched into his voice.

"I'm afraid that is not going to happen." Ziva told him as she pulled into the NCIS parking lot.

"You will be dealing with our Boss." McGee told him as he walked around, opening Archer's door. "Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs…and just so you know, he is the only one that is really able to control _her_." Tim said, jerking his head towards Ziva, who smiled and waved prettily when she saw their eyes land on her. "So I hope for your sake… You don't want to hurt Tony."

* * *

"Gibbs…We need to get something set straight. When I wake up in the morning I do not really fancy seeing the Incredible Hulk staring at me." Tony glowered, and he swore he could hear his boss smirking on the other end.

"You didn't honestly think I would leave you at my house _alone_ did you?"

"I said I didn't want protective custody!"

"And James isn't. He's my neighbor, I asked him to make sure nobody came in to slit your throat, or for you to do anything stupid." From Tony's spot on the sofa, he banged his head in frustration before looking at the rather large man in front of him. He had woken up to find a dark skinned man who was about the size of a small hippo sitting across from him, not saying a word. "He's an ex-SEAL." Gibbs told him from across the line "Then afterwards he became a construction worker… I think now he does something at the elementary school…?"

"Hilarious Gibbs. This is such an appropriate time to show your sense of humor." Tony sniped and heard his Boss sigh.

"Just stay there and call me if anything looks wrong."

"Why can't I be at NCIS again? You never really took me off the cas-" he voice was cut off by a familiar voice speaking loudly at the other end.

_"Agent Gibbs! Would you kindly ask your agents to let me go. I need to speak to Anthony DiNozzo. Now."_

"Gibbs?" he said sharply "Was that Jake? He's there?"

"Yeah. He's here and your there. We're keeping it that way." Gibbs muttered Tony knew that within five seconds his Boss would hang up on him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. No. Gibbs, think about this. Do you _really_ think that Jake- I mean Archer- is going to talk to you? He wants me. So why don't I just go conduct the interrogation?"

"I shouldn't have to answer a question as stupid as that."

"Look, I know him better than anyone. Please just let me do this. I've been doing some thinking…It has been years since I've last seen Jake…He _could_ have changed. Just let me talk to him. I won't let any personal feelings get in the way I swear. Just trust me."

"Tony…"

"Please. Can't you trust me to do this?" the agent begged and he knew he had his boss cornered. Well, Gibbs wasn't really a guy you 'cornered', but Tony knew that Gibbs would hate to tell Tony, his friend, that he didn't trust him. After a long beat of silence Gibbs finally spoke up again.

"Give the phone to James." Gibbs sighed and Tony stood up, giving a quick fist pump to the sky.

"Thanks boss. I mean it."

"Yeah DiNozzo I know you do."

* * *

_Jake Archer wished he was dead. _

_His body hurt- all of it. His hands, feet, arms… everything. Yet, for some god forsaken reason, his body refused to just shut down and die. The unwavering pain kept gnawing, and at the moment, there was only one thing to distract him from his Hell._

_Tony._

_Jake wasn't for sure at what time he had heard his friend's voice, it had seemed like hours ago. He had been talking with their captor, whoever that may be. Jake knew there was a girl involved somewhere, but he couldn't see much from his prison. All he could hear at this point was the steady thumping that must have been fist pounding on human flesh. _

_God…What had he done? Self-hatred overwhelmed the Marine as he thought about the kid he had saved on his first day being beaten to a bloody pulp. God knows what else they were doing to him…_

_And Tony hadn't made a single noise the whole time. _

_Jake had heard the deal the captor made him. The girl wouldn't be able to know Tony was being tortured unless she turned around and looked. It was such a sick agreement._

_"What exactly do you want?" Tony suddenly choked out and Jake flew against the wall so he could hear his comrade's strained voice more clearly._

_"What do I want? Many things that your naïve mind could not begin to understand. I want discipline."_

_Thunk._

_"I want order."_

_Thunk._

_"Respect."_

_Thunk._

_"and purity."_

_There was a loud crackling sound that may or may not have been the snap of a bone as Jake dug his hands further into the wall, eyes closed._

_"Let me rephrase the question." Tony gasped thickly, and Jake just knew he was talking through a mouthful of blood. "What do you want from me?"_

_Another hit echoed through the chamber before everything went silent for a moment._

_"I want to break you, you_ **_filthy _**_being. I want to make you understand what it feels like to want to die. Then, when you beg me to end your pathetic life? You will spill out every American secret you have before I put a knife through your head. That, my dear friend, is what I want. Now… I think the little girl should have a turn, yes?"_

_Jake pushed away, too weak to even feel the panging in his chest as he heard Tony's first cry mixed in with a terrified scream. _

* * *

"Gibbs is letting you do this?" Tim asked skeptically as Tony sat at his desk, searching through files.

"Yes."

"Will you be okay?"

"Jesus _mom_. It is just an interrogation. I'll be _fine_." Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair. McGee pressed his lips together, but didn't really argue, instead opting to keep his opinions to himself. Tony honestly looked like Hell. Rumpled jeans and a t-shirt was definitely not his usual style, and God knows that the SFA hated it when one piece of his hair was out of place. Let alone the bird's nest state it was in right now.

Looking at his partner, he couldn't help but feel a slight hatred for the Archer person. The man who reduced his older brother figure into someone who seemed completely lost… He hated seeing Tony that way. It just _wasn't_ supposed to be this way!

"Hey…I was just wondering. Did you go by AJ in the corps?" he asked, trying to distract his mind with pointless questions.

"Hm? Oh no. When I signed up I was Anthony DiNozzo. I got my name on the files changed after I left. They couldn't really erase me from their system, but they could change my name so no one knew it was me." He explained without looking up from his papers. Frowning, Tim walked over and put a hand over in front of his face so he could regain his attention.

"Are you seriously okay?" he asked and Tony blinked at the amount of solemnity put into the words.

"No." he admitted "No I'm not. But me not being okay with any of this isn't going to make it go away Tim. Me dealing with it and trying to fix the problem is. There are other people in my unit who are still alive, and they could be a target. I'm not going to be responsible for them getting hurt."

Tim paused before nodding slowly. It was probably the most serious conversation the two had ever had. Tony had even called him Tim…

"Alright. Let's get this show on the road." Tony said and smiled warily before pulling himself up, looking bracingly around. "Hey probie…Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure, what do you need?"

"Just…Just make sure I don't… Make sure I don't…You know." Tony told him uncomfortably and gestured with his hands.

"Umm…No. I don't." McGee frowned, trying to understand whatever it was the SFA was telling him.

"Well, I was kind of different then compared to now…" Tony explained and shifted anxiously again "And I like the way I am now a bit better. Just make sure I act the same after I'm finished talking with Jake. Force me to talk or something if you have to." Tim blinked in slight surprise before considering. He could never imagine a quiet version of his friend before… The thought of it seemed really quite unnerving.

"Consider it done." He told him with a forced grin. Part of him was bothered by the comment though. He had heard of Marines going from goofy to stoic after war, but never vice versa. Why would Tony be _more_ easy going after war?

Or was he? Tim had heard on numerous occasions that Tony wore a 'mask of a clown' as Gibbs had put it once. Perhaps Tony wasn't as happy as he seemed? Shaking the chilling revelation to the side, McGee stepped in sync with the man in question, determined to learn something from this interview.

* * *

It was as if stepping into a time machine. One moment he was in NCIS as Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, the next in Afghanistan as Sergeant Anthony DiNozzo.

The interrogation room seemed to morph into mess hall and Jake was just sitting there, head fallen forward in his hands, completely silent.

He looked across the room where the one way glass stood and scowled. He _knew_ he had an audience. Probably consisting of half the agency if Gibbs didn't kick them out. It seemed that everyone had found out about Tony's scandalous exposure and wanted a front row seat for when the real drama began.

Silently, the Agent walked over and slammed his files down on the table, fully expecting his old friend to jump at the sound.

He didn't though.

Jake simply let a small smile play at his lips and didn't even bother to look up as he spoke, his voice sounding low and raspy.

"Hey Tony." He whispered and finally lifted his head up to meet his eyes. They were still the same startling blue they had always been, filled with shadows of memories that only a miracle could erase and experiences no one should have to go through.

"Jake." He nodded, trying to keep his voice neutral… It wasn't easy though. The accusing voice in the back of his head was beginning to speak up.

_What's wrong with you? Are you seriously going to accuse him of murder? Your best friend? _

Tony winced, telling himself to shut up and get down to business. Trying to keep his composure, he didn't even notice Jake studying him over intently.

"Well, well, well. You don't look that scrawny anymore." he commented, his eyes holding a somewhat amused look.

And that was all it took to get the agent to relax and let a smile grace his feature.

"Well, well, well." Tony mimicked "You still look like an ass." The other ex-marine laughed, running a hand through now graying hair, half grinning at his friend.

"I suppose you come to interrogate me Mr. Federal Agent?" Jake smirked "As long as you don't do it like you did back if Afghanistan." He said and Tony's face sobered. Right. Job. He had to do his job.

"When did you leave the core?" he asked lightly, making sure it sounded like he was just trying to hold a conversation.

"Uh…Couple months after you did actually. A lot of people were upset over what happened you know? Didn't want anything to do with it." Tony frowned, trying to keep his face schooled. He definitely didn't want to get into that right now.

"You talk with anyone else once you got out?"

"Tried to talk with you Hot Shot. But you were over there hauling people in prisons." Jake smiled again, and Tony couldn't help but feel the slightest bit of guilt over the words. He had remembered the few calls Jake had left him over the years, and of course gotten back to him, but at the time he had been distracted and trying to distance himself from anything military.

"You should have made me talk." Tony frowned back him "I was getting too work obsessed anyway."

Rolling his eyes, Jake leaned over and lightly tapped Tony's wrists, which still had faint silver scarring.

"You were trying to forget. I was a reminder. Do you really think I'm that selfish of a person that I would make you remember those things?" There was a pause, in which Tony dragged his hand off of the table and onto his lap.

God this felt so tense right now. You could literally feel the thickness around the room, suffocating them.

"What did you do after you left the Marines?"

"I went back to California…Where I met Sophie you know? I thought I would spend some time with her family for a little while before moving on. I figured it was time that I made a life that didn't include death. I wandered around a little while…Finally settling down in Colorado."

"How long ago was this?"

"Hmm…About eight years ago?" Tony nodded and absent mindedly began picking at the edges of the files. Like Tony, Jake hadn't had too much of a family growing up, it was one of the things that drew them to each other. They had both always joked that when they finally did leave the Marines, they would still be neighbors and drive their kids and wives crazy with all their mishap.

Neither of them would have guessed that in fifteen years one would be interrogating the other for murder.

"Peter Erickson. Michael Hammond. Brandon Sterling." Tony spoke, pulling out the three shots and placing them gently on the table before tapping them with his index finger. "Remember them?"

"Yep." Jake smiled with melancholy "He was probably the most easy going person in the world… Unless you messed with his peanut butter stash." He said pointing to Peter's photo before hovering over Michael's "He was always homesick for his wife and son…And Brandon was just an ass."

"They're dead."

"I know. I was using past tense Tony. Trust me…I know they're dead. I was there."

"You were with each of the victim's when they died." He clarified and Jake nodded, studying him over carefully.

"You think I killed them." He asked with disappointment coloring his otherwise bland tone.

"I'm supposed to remain objective." Was the equally bitter reply. The comment made the other marine light up with a new found hope.

"You _don't_ think I did it." He beamed and the agent groaned.

"Jake… You're killing me here. I'm already on delicate ground with this case as it is. Just… Work with me. Did you kill them?"

"No."

"What were you doing with them when each of them died?"

"Well…We were talking…"

"Really?" Tony couldn't help but smirk "I didn't think human beings did that."

"Shut up." The older man grinned and Tony bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at the easy banter that was exchanged.

"Alright Jake. What were you guys talking about then?"

Instantly the mood darkened. Jake's eyes went from the lightened color of the sky to more of a navy shade within seconds. There was the sound of crunching and Tony saw that Jake had clenched his hands deep into the table, effectively causing a tip of his nail to start bleeding.

"Jake?" he asked bewildered and his friend closed his eyes before breathing deeply.

"Tony…What do you remember about when I was…You know…Tortured?"

* * *

_"Stop!" the voice had rang out as Tony felt another sharp pain at the soles of his feet. He was hung onto a rock wall, chains holding his wrists above his head as the bottoms of his feet were beaten, making it almost impossible to walk on without pain when he was let down. _

_Weakly looking up, Tony tried to identify whoever had spoken… He knew that voice… He knew it….It had been about a month since he had heard it, but he knew that voice. _

_Looking around, Tony was once again thankful that his captors had decided to keep Zohura out of this particular torture session. He knew even without a mirror, he looked like Hell, and it was a relief to be able to scream when he felt the pain that seared through his body._

_Quick Persian zoomed around the room before a clang came from a few feet away and someone else was dragged into the room._

_Hey...Tony knew him. He knew him… He was sure of it. But, much like his name, Tony was too weak to care to remember who he was. A part of his mind told him that this man was important, the other part didn't care._

_"Stop." The man said firmly, his eyes latched on Tony. The Marine would have found this a little more comforting if the man wasn't so obviously a prisoner as well. He was muddy, thin, and weak looking. Though it appeared as though he hadn't been tortured or hurt in anyway, which made Tony feel a little better for some reason._

_"What did you just say?" the man who had been hitting Tony asked dangerously and the marine wanted to warn the man not to say anything else, to warn him that he would get hurt if he did._

_"He's had enough. Leave him alone." The man defended quickly, rubbing matted blonde hair away from his eyes._

_"Is that so?"_

_Oh God…They were going to kill this guy…Right in front of him. Tony waited for the sound of death as he looked at the floor, already resigned to the fact he was about to see the person who defended him die._

_"Yes…" the man said "I…I'll trade places with him."_

* * *

"We are not talking about that." Tony said sharply, suddenly standing up and turning his back away from Jake.

"Tony…"

"No!" he yelled and clenched his fist. "We are _not_ going there you…You _stupid_, _selfish_ bastard!" he glowered and Jake gave him a patient look as he leaned back into his chair.

"They would have killed you if I hadn't volunteered to trade places with you. They had been hurting you for three days straight. That was enough time."

"I don't care."

"Tony, you barely remembered who you even were- let alone me. You didn't understand what was going on anyways." Jake told him solemnly and suddenly Tony found himself fighting not to strangle him with his bare hands.

"Oh yeah?" he asked dangerously "And when I was strong enough to remember what was happening? To sit there and realize the man who I saw tortured was actually my best friend? You think that I felt all warm and fuzzy about that?"

"No." Jake told him simply "But it made it easier for me to live with myself."

"You always were heartless." Tony hissed scathingly before staring straight ahead from the corner of the interrogation. "What were you and the others talking about?"

"You. That night when I was first tortured." The marine stated, watching Tony with careful eyes. Feeling every muscle in his body tensed, the agent gave him a critical look.

"Really? And is there any particular reason you were talking about that day so…Specifically." He asked and waited for Jake to answer.

"I had gotten…Something."

"Something?"

"Yeah. A little while back I…I was mailed…Well…" he held up his hand and Tony instantly understood. Bile began to rise into his throat at the thought and it took all of his willpower not to lose his lunch.

"You…were…Sent that?" he asked, looking at Jake's missing ring finger on his left hand.

* * *

_The screams wouldn't stop…God Tony wished they would stop. His mind was dizzy with aches and the horrified shrieks just made him want to break down. The man who had taken his place was now hanging by his wrists as Tony had been, burns being applied to various places._

_Jake. Tony remembered. The man's name was Jake…Though his importance was still not placed._

_"You are a lot noisier than the other one." Their captor noted as he placed another hot stone to the side of Jake's stomach. There was a small groan and Tony felt a twinge of pity as he watch another red mark blossom over the man's bare skin… Poor Jake._

_"What is this?" their captor sneered distastefully as he pulled something from Jake's dog tags. It was a gold ring. Tony felt as though he should know what that ring meant…_

_"Stop…That was my wife's…" Jake muttered and the darker skinned man frowned in complete disgust._

_"Americans. You use gold nonstop for…This? For décor to put on your women? Pathetic." The ring was tossed to the side and Jake winced as he touched the floor. "What is this?" their captor spoke again "You have a matching one I see…" he said, lifting the tortured man's hand so the glittering gold could be made in the sunlight. "Let me help you take this off…" _

_Realizing what was to happen a second before it did, Tony closed his eyes before the knife cut into the other man's flesh…_

* * *

Breathe… Breathe… Breathe…

Tony was staring at the table blankly, trying to make sure his mind was rid of the demons lurking about.

Breathe…Breathe… Breathe…

Okay…Alright. He was okay. He was _fine_. Swallowing thickly, he spared Jake another glance, his mind flashing back to when it was bruised and batter all those years ago.

"Okay. So you were sent your…Finger." He said, the words tasting strangely on his tongue "And so you decided to go see members of your old unit… Why them? I was there."

"Exactly." Jake shrugged "I hadn't seen you in years. What was I supposed to do? Knock the door and say 'Hey Tone! I just drove a couple thousand miles to find you and show you my decaying finger in a box sent to me! You remember when that happened? Yeah, we were taken hostage in Afghanistan and tortured. Good times right?' Really. How would you have reacted to that?"

"I would have said you need some serious medication and the helped you." Tony shot back, rolling his eyes at the tone Jake had adapted when mimicking his voice.

"Yeah you would have. And I would forever feel guilty when I screwed up your perfectly normal life. Look, we all got the hint when you went sprinting for the hills. You erased anything military about you and changed your name on the files. You wanted it gone and everyone was _fine_ with that. But if you wish for that life… We wanted to help you forget which meant the whole squad had to stay away from you. We didn't want to mess up whatever life you were making."

There was a quiet moment in which Tony felt his features soften and the tenseness leave his shoulder slightly.

"I still would have wanted to know if any of you were in trouble." He chided gently before forcing himself to turn back to the matters at hand.

"So you went and saw Michael first. What happened?"

"I went to his house and he wasn't there. His son, he's fifteen now…Weird. Anyways, he answered the door and said that his Dad hadn't been around for a couple weeks, but he left a message prior saying it was work related and he was fine. So I was heading back when I heard my name. It sounded like a woman calling me, so I turned around and called out. Nobody answered naturally, so I decided to snoop around. That's…When I found Michael."

"Dead?"

"No. Alive. He… Tony, he just… he was beaten up and…Well he just kind of looked like us when we were you know…"

* * *

_"Hold still!" Jake snapped at him, slapping Tony's hand as he attempted to push his friend away from him._

_"Ugh, get off of me! You're making me hotter than I already am!" he groaned and Jake let out an annoyed huff, attempting to keep Tony's cracked head from bleeding further._

_"God damnit…If I'm going to have pin you down DiNozzo…I swear to God I will make your life Hell."_

_"I'd like to see you top this." The marine responded darkly and scowled as Jake dabbed his head with a small piece of cloth again. _

_Jake had been moved from wherever prison he was at before, to with Tony and Zohura now. It was a good and bad thing. Good because Tony was able to feel slightly less anxious, knowing where his comrade was. Bad, because there was little room to begin with and it didn't help that Zohura was terrified of him._

_"Bad!" the girl snapped at him and threw a rock at his forehead. Tony grinned at her. She was still a fragile little thing, that jumped at the slightest movement, but Tony had noticed over time that she was getting slightly more daring as her time trapped with Tony went on. They had both been through a lot together. Endured torture, and watched the other suffer. It was a lot for a girl of her age to take in, but in a way, Tony was glad for it. She was one of the reasons he was still sane in this God forsaken place._

_"Ow!" Jake moaned "What was **that** for?"_

_"Bad." Zohura glowered and Tony stuck out his tongue._

_"She doesn't like you hurting me."_

_"I'm not hurting you! I'm trying to fix your thick head that somehow cracked." Jake muttered and pressed firmly on the sides, somehow managing to stop the bleeding. "What the Hell did they do to you anyways?"_

_"They mainly tested out their new shocking toy on me. Got up to a couple megawatts I think before I passed out. The head injury came from me passing out on the ground coming back over here."_

_"You're a dumbass." Jake scowled and from beside Tony, Zohura poked her head back out._

_"Tony…Dumbass?" she asked, saying the word slowly "English word?"_

_The two marines looked at each other guiltily, both trying to figure out how to best explain to a nine year old girl who was still learning English what a curse word is._

_"Sorry Zohura. That was a bad word in English, we don't say that." Jake told her in fluent Persian. Tony supposed it was another perk of having him around, it was a lot easier to talk to the little girl._

_"Why is that word bad?"_

_"It isn't very nice…" Jake told her, trailing off slowly. Tony smirked at how awkward he looked and leaned back, wincing as his raw skin touched the bug infested ground._

_"Tony?"_

_"Hmm?"_

_"You know we got to get out of here right?" Jake muttered to him and Tony glared at him through slit eyes._

_"Good going Sherlock. Any suggestions?"_

_"I'm just saying." The other man said defensively "You look as though you are resigned to the fact we're going to die here."_

_"We might."_

_"That's the kind of thinking that'll make it true." Came the harsh response "You have to work with me here Tone." Allowing his eyes to reopen, Tony sighed and smiled at the little girl who was watching them with faint interest still, trying to piece together the conversation the two Americans were having._

_"Here." Someone from the doorway muttered and the three almost scrambled towards the bowl that was laid down in front of them._

_Water…Oh God…Water…_

_Thirst had been overtaking Tony for days on end. He thought he'd never be able to taste clean, clear water again. He'd been barely surviving off the little that was squeezed into his mouth during torture sessions._

_"It is half full!" Zohura beamed._

_"You mean empty." Jake muttered as he tried to reach for the bowl, but Tony quickly grabbed his wrist._

_"We have to save it."_

_"**Save** it? Are you mad? They'll just come back on here and knock it over if we try to save it." He snarled and Tony gave an annoyed hmpf sound._

_"Let Zoe have the first sip at least." He said and picked up the water to offer it to the girl. As he moved towards her, he noticed his reflection in the water._

_He looked like… Something you would see in a horror film. Blood everywhere, his hair, his face, even near his eyes. Scratches were made throughout his neck and ears. Finally there were a few small bumps peaking throughout his hair. _

_When had he started to look like this?_

_Would he die seeing this face?_

* * *

"Yeah." Tony's throat constricted "Yeah I know… So what happened after you found him?"

"I yelled. Went over to him and tried to get him to talk to me. He just kept mumbling about 'it wasn't his fault' whatever that means."

"Did you call the police?"

"Do I look stupid to you? Of course I did. I turned my back for a second to get better reception when the gunshot rang out… Sounded a lot like a Sporter Rifle, though I'm not for sure. I turned back around and… He was dead."

"I-"

"Out." Jumping, the two men turned to see the door ajar, with Gibbs standing there looking thoroughly pissed.

"Boss?" Tony asked and Gibbs stalked over and pulled the other chair up, sitting down.

"Tony. Get out."

"What? Gibbs-" Tony objected looking alarmed, but the older man gripped his upper arm and pushed him towards the door. "What did I do?"

"I'm not going to ask you again."

"You asked the first time?" the younger man muttered spitefully and threw a confused look over at Jake before carefully shutting the door behind him.

Jake and Gibbs took the next few minutes to size each other up. Staring at one another with equal distrust and dislike.

"Special Agent Gibbs?"

"Yep. Jake Archer?"

"Yep." Nodding, Gibbs let his hands lightly brush over the file before Jake spoke again "Why did you kick Tony out?"

"Why do you think?"

"I don't know." Gibbs gave a humorless laugh, pulling out a file and laying it quietly in front of him.

"I'll clue you in. I don't want my agent near the man who wants to murder him."

"I would never hurt Tony or anybody else on my unit."

"Really? Than explain this." He said, opening the file. "My ME told me that Brandon Sterling was shot in the back with the gun pressed against him. I got the initial autopsy report for the other two men in your unit today. Both said the same thing. Now, my ME is double checking the body, but as of right now, you are standing on some pretty thin ice." Jake studied Gibbs intently for a moment, as if trying to decide whether or not how much or how little to say.

"Does Tony trust you?" he asked abruptly, running a gnarled hand through his hair. Gibbs found his eyes kept drawing back to the missing finger on his left before looking back into the man's eyes.

He didn't give an answer, and Gibbs knew that his expression must have said it all, because Archer nodded again thoughtfully.

"I thought so." He murmured coolly and leaned forward so Gibbs could hear the low tone he spoke in. "Get him out of earshot, alright? Then I'll explain."

It definitely wasn't the most comforting thing that the Senior Agent had ever heard, but he wasn't about to deny free information. If Tony needed to know anything that Archer said, Gibbs would be sure to tell him. Turning to he faced the mirror behind him, he jerked his head before hearing some low grumbling of different voices and the angry slam of a door.

"He's gone." Gibbs told him unnecessarily before standing up. "Now talk."

"Yeah. I didn't want him to know…" Archer said, his voice trailing off as Gibbs walked behind, leaning dangerously on the wall. He knew that Ziva and McGee were probably worrying that he'd end up killing the guy- it was a legitimate concern- so he gave a warning glance at the panel across from him in case they tried to stop the agent in any way.

"Want him to know what? That you're a killer? And you want to shoot him in the back too?" he asked coolly, coming up closer to he was sure that the other man could feel his presence. "You didn't want the person who was tortured with you to know that his life means _nothing_ to you?"

"No." Archer objected, his voice low and firm. "It isn't like that." Gibbs said nothing, instead opting to grab the man's chair and spin it around so the back of it was facing the table and Archer was towards him. Then, in one fluent movement, he pressed his palms around the Marine so they were right in the other's face.

"I don't like people trying to hurt my team…So you better explain pretty damn fast." He told them lowly and smirked when he saw Jake swallow thickly.

"Everything I told you was true, I swear to God… Except the last part." Deciding not to comment, Gibbs didn't remove himself from his current position, instead remaining silent until he got his answers.

"After I heard the gunshot I turned around and saw someone with the gun… It was someone I recognized. That's the reason I didn't wait up for the police… I ran over to Peter's next because he was only an hour away and I told him what had happened. We stayed the week together trying to figure out who to tell and what to do…I was freaking out. Then, one day I wake and find his corpse out in the middle of the yard. I ran again. I got to DC and…Found Brandon. Gibbs, Brandon lived in New Hampshire so he shouldn't have even been anywhere near where he was found. I think he was trying to find Tony too…To warn him."

"Why wouldn't you have told the police you recognized the killer? How do you know him?" Gibbs asked him slowly, removing himself away from the table and back to his seat at the other side of the table.

"Her." Jake whispered "and I wouldn't have told the police because Zohura is supposed to be dead."

* * *

**BAM! I thought the ending was pretty kick ass there myself :P Gave some answers here and there and some brief hints on what is to come… I hope you liked it!**

**Hola mis amigos! Lo siento... My updates have been terrible, I know. Here are some quick fillers on some things that have been recently brought to my attention...**

**THE TIMELINE IS WRONG! I had a review (I can't for the life remember if I PMed the person and thanked them for pointing this out to me... If I didn't then THANK YOU!) telling me that the way I wrote this, Afghanistan wouldn't be going on during the time I had thrown Tony in there. To be honest, I really try to do my research but... Let's face it. I'm horrible at it. For those of you who are reading my other stories, particularly ****Baltimore Beginnings****/Wavering Washington then you know I screwed up the timeline on that on too! Ugh... My life sometimes :P**

**Umm... Actually that is the real main, important thing going on here. If you guys see any other mistakes (I have decided to leave my timeline mistake alone due to the fact it might confuse you guys if I suddenly changed it) then please tell me. I like to think that if I can't change it in the story, then I can at least just know about it :P**

**Alright... I'm out. Please review!**

**~Kensi **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

"Who are you again?" Ziva asked skeptically as she looked at the woman who stood stoically across from her with distrusting eyes.

"Master Sergeant Lily James." The woman repeated firmly, her hands folded neatly in front of her as she continued eyeing Ziva, who was staring just as penetratingly back at her desk.

"I see…" came the cool reply and the Mossad agent continued to identify her as friend or foe. The woman was about forty years in age, with dirty blonde hair and bottle green eyes that reminded Ziva of that funny little cat on the movie with the girl and tea party… What was it again? Tony had made her see it once… Ah, yes. _Alice in Wonderland_.

"Agent DiNozzo is currently unavailable." She told her crisply and watched as the other woman's tall frame stiffened "If you like I can leave a message."

"What about Jake Archer? Is he here?"

"Yes. Unfortunately, he is unavailable as well." Giving a frustrated sigh, the woman stepped forward and brushed a piece of lint of her recently ironed uniform, giving Ziva an exasperated smile.

"Well. I'll just have to wait." She conceded and the Israeli considered this notion.

"Would this visit have to do with the deaths of three other marines from Anthony DiNozzo's unit?" she asked sharply and the woman gave her a withering look.

"Yes." She told her bluntly "Peter was my friend… As was Tony. Our units crossed paths a couple times, and we were in training together for a long time. Jake called me as soon as the murders happened."

"Why you?" Ziva asked with a little more grit to her words than she would have liked "Are you and my partner close or something? Or you and Archer?"

The woman seemed to give the first real, amused smile of the day at Ziva's tone and her question. Tapping her finger against the edge of Tony's desk, which she had now perched herself on, Lily nodded.

"Tony and I were good friends. My mother was a psychiatrist, so I had some pretty good listening skills. Tony needed someone to talk to. He trusted me eventually to keep everything he told me a secret." There was a pause in which James bit her lip with worry "He never did talk to me about his POW days though… A few comments here and there. Just enough so I would get the idea. After he left I don't think I ever really saw much of him again."

Ziva considered the words. She still didn't seem to digest the fact her partner had been a victim of such… Horror, but it was slowly getting easier to swallow. She couldn't help but feel neglected though, knowing so little about this other side of her friend. Did Tony trust this woman, whose name didn't seem like more than two words strung together, than her?

"Ziva. Can you do me a favor and-" Speak of the devil.

Tony had just walked into the bullpen, his nose deep in a file, and hand bloodied and bruised. The best guess was that he had just hit a wall of some sort out of anger- he certainly seemed that way once he had been forced out of interrogation.

"Lily?" he asked, his eyes rising to meet the woman's face in shock "What are you doing here!?"

Rushing up, the woman embraced him briefly and Ziva almost rolled her eyes. Clearly this woman didn't know the only kind of physical affection Tony accepted was from Abby, or Gibbs if you count the headslaps.

Predictably, Tony squirmed slightly, but after a couple moments he relaxed into her embrace, making Ziva clench her jaw. Never mind then.

"Jake called… God Tony, I am so, so sorry about… Just all of this. I can't even imagine how hard this has to be on you."

Great. The girl was a suck up too. Won-der-ful. Flipping her hair with much more flourish than necessary, Ziva went back to her computer screen, fuming. Well fine then.

_Oh shut up_. She told herself. It wasn't like she didn't have other friends that her co-workers didn't know about. She supposed it was mainly because this woman was a clear sign that all of this dreamlike scenario was actually true. Her partner had been a marine. He had been a prisoner of war. He had been tortured. Someone was trying to kill him… And this woman was rubbing salt and glass into a profusely bleeding wound.

"Where is Jake anyway?" Lily asked and Tony put his folder down on his desk and turned to talk to her. There was a small crease between Ziva's eyes when she saw how he stood. Usually, Tony was relaxed, always leaning back in his chair, hands moving everywhere as he talked animatedly.

This though… Was different. His feet were squared with his shoulders, like he was in some kind of salute with his hands behind his back. He was making serious eye contact with Lily, rarely blinking or letting his attention wander… This wasn't like Tony… At all.

"Oh God… I'm sorry Ziva, I haven't introduced you two yet. This-"

"Is Lily James. Yes, we've met." The agent cut in coolly, allowing a small smile to be forced upon her lips. Tony looked slightly taken aback, but didn't comment on the obvious attitude.

"So…" Tony looked between his two friends awkwardly, as if deciding this best way to bring predators together.

"Do you have any leads?" Lily asked, and Tony gave a sharp nod.

"Sort of." He told her "We have a general idea, but nothing makes sense so far. Right now, Ziva is tracing anyone who has ever been in Afghanistan and is in America now. Agent McGee is doing some other computer stuff and Agent Gibbs is interrogating Jake." He added spitefully and Ziva blinked.

_Agent McGee_? _Agent Gibbs_? Since when had Tony ever called anybody anything…so…Formal? It was either the person's first name, last name, or some variation of a nickname. Never 'Mr.' or 'Miss' and certainly not 'Agent.'

"So far we haven't gotten too many hits that make sense… But I think Agent Gibbs is going to check them all out anyway…" Tony was saying and the Mossad agent pursed her lips momentarily before trying to turn her attention back to her work. It was only after Tony had called her 'Agent David' that Ziva couldn't take it anymore. Flipping out her phone, she walked away, fuming. Ziva didn't trust many people enough to let them inside of her head, but there was one person who she could think of that Tony might talk to enough to figure out what the hell was going on.

"Hello?"

"Dr. Cranston." Ziva said, relieved "I think I might need your help…"

* * *

"I need you to tell me what happened." Gibbs said slowly as Archer looked away, his fingers thrumming the table.

"I…I can't Agent Gibbs. I barely remember it and-"

"Tony is in danger because of this, and you are sitting here telling me that someone who is supposed to be dead killed his friends? Not only someone who is dead, but someone he who he never wronged, but _helped_?"

"You don't understand-"

"Enlighten me." Gibbs snarled, his frustration coloring his tone.

"I _can't_. If I did… You wouldn't understand." Jake said, the stress reaching his eyes as he tried to keep his body from fidgeting.

"Are you positive it was Zohura?" Gibbs tried, going with a different approach.

"She looked just like her…But older of course, though it was hard to see her face since it was mostly covered. I swear though, it was her."

"But she is dead."

"Yes."

"Yet you saw her? Can you see how I might be a little doubtful? Is she dead or not? Because a dead person can't kill people!" Gibbs snapped and Archer let his head fall forward in pure exhaustion from the whole conversation. He honestly thought that training took less out of him then this interrogation stuff.

"Please… I don't really care who it is. Just keep my friend safe."

"He won't be until we catch this guy… and he won't be caught until you open your mouth." Gibbs told him and waited. When no response came, he gathered his things and left, looking at McGee who was waiting for him outside.

"Boss?" he asked quietly and Gibbs warily looked around. Tim looked… Shaken. No doubt from Tony's part of the interrogation most likely. The amount revealed in that conversation had been one of the most twisting moments of Gibbs life. Was this how Tony felt when he found out about Shannon and Kelly?

"Let him go. He needs some time away from us if we want him to say more. I want you to keep tabs on him though, watch him and see what he does. If he even looks at DiNozzo the wrong way, talks to somebody hinky, or goes by Tony's apartment? Haul him back here. Got it?"

"Yeah boss." McGee readily agreed and waited at the door to interrogation. "Boss?" there was a heavy pause "Will Tony be okay?"

It wasn't a question of just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well, and to be honest, Gibbs wasn't for sure. He had seen a lot of things in his life, but this was hard… Really hard. And Gibbs wasn't even the one all of this was happening to.

"I guess it is up to him." He answered slowly, and nodded in agreement with himself. Tony was strong. He wouldn't give up. Ever.

Besides… He was a marine after all.

* * *

_Dale Benson swallowed hard as he looked around at the rest of his unit. Sweat was pouring down their faces and blood fell like rain drops onto the ground. Peter was running a hand through red hair, his normally easy going personality tainted with fear and anger. _

_Dale understood the feeling._

_Because out of all ten of them, there were only eight men. _

_That wasn't right. _

_People died in war all the time. It wasn't the first time they had lost someone and not had all their men. Hell, there were times when the numbers went down to five or six left. _

_This time though, it was different. Dale had seen people that had been killed before… Not taken hostage. Not in front of his eyes when there was literally __**nothing**__ he could do about it… He swore to any higher force that was listening… They would __**find**__ Jake and Tony…And those bastards were going to pay for it._

"_What do we do?" Ben asked, trying to move the dirt off of his hairless head. _

"_We find them of course you idiot!" Brandon shot back, throwing his knife down into the ground._

"_I know that!" Ben growled defensively "I meant __**how**__ do we get them back? We have no idea where they even are!"_

"_We can't just go wandering around, looking for them. It will just make us easier targets." Michael told them all sadly as he looked out into the terrain._

"_So what do you propose we do?" Ron, who had been peacefully eating moments before, snarled "Leave them to die?"_

"_We need back up!" Scott whined unnecessarily and almost everyone dismissed the wailer of the group. Scott Johnson had always been- for lack of a better word- a lazy dick. However, at these words, Peter's head snapped up._

"_Backup…" he repeated slowly before grinning. "Boys, I think he just may be right." A group of uncertain looks went his way, obviously not liking the tone used._

"_Peter, what are you thinking?" someone asked and the red haired man gestured them all closer._

"_Alright, so here is what we're going to do…"_

* * *

"Gibbs…" Ziva began hesitantly "I called Rachel Cranston." The lead agent paused, turning to frown at her with a clear expression that could only be translated into the question of _why_?

"Look!" Ziva prodded him, gesturing to the two figures in the bullpen. After giving her another look, Gibbs turned to observe his SFA in the squad room.

Tony was conversing with a woman, though it wasn't in his usual manner. His agent seemed… Off. Frowning, her watched and noticed the different in posture, tone… Hell, even the man's smile seemed different.

"Who's the woman?" he asked quietly instead and Ziva rolled her eyes.

"Lily James." She told him flatly "Apparently she was a military friend of Tony's. They were… Close." She told him with a mocking tone and Gibbs turned to raise his eyebrows at the obvious dislike. In response, the agent simply shrugged in reply, not seeming bothered at all.

"Why is he acting like that?"

"I don't know. That's why I called Dr. Cranston… I didn't think anyone else would know."

Silently, Gibbs agreed with her. He had noticed the subtle differences in his agent, but had never really brought his attention to them up until now.

"DiNozzo!" he yelled, sounding a lot more angry than he should have and waited for his subordinate to scurry up to him. Instead though, Tony turned and walked calmly, his eyes glimmering with an expression that Gibbs had never seen on him before.

"Sir?"

Sir? _Sir_? Another stab of irritation followed. He hated it when Tony didn't act like…Well…Tony. Now the kid was calling him _sir_? Resisting the urge to hit the other man, Gibbs took another calming breath.

"Don't call me sir."

There! Gibbs recognized this look! He had seen it on his very first case with Tony, when Gibbs said that same line to him after the detective had first called him sir.

"_Wow… I don't think I've ever been told not to call someone sir."_ He had said in awe after the confusion had passed away.

"Ah, sorry Boss." Tony frowned and let a crease arise on his forehead "Huh. That's weird… I could have sworn…" his voice trailed off and Gibbs roughly grabbed the man's arm, shaking him as more worry crept into his blood stream.

"DiNozzo." He said sharply and Tony's eyes focused back.

"Huh?" he asked, and this time, Gibbs felt another stab of concern overtake him. He didn't like it when his people were hurt… If that was what you could consider this. Praising Ziva as a Goddess in his head, he shot her a thankful look for the sight to call Rachel Cranston. He may have many things against psychiatrists, but decided he would rather be safe than sorry.

"Oh!" Tony snapped, his eyes lighting up like he suddenly remembered where he was and his purpose for being there "I have to introduce you to-"

"Lily James." Gibbs cut him off and Tony frowned.

"How do you-? Never mind. You always know. Anyways, she's an old friend of mine and wanted to… Actually… I don't really know why she's here." He frowned and moved, probably to ask her, when realization must have dawned on him because he flew back to Gibbs' side.

"Wait!" he almost yelled "What happened with Jake? What did he say? Why did you make me leave? What did you do to him?" the last question was said with bit more ire in it than the others and the older man rolled his eyes.

"He's in the clear… For now. Why is the girl here?"

"But-"

"DiNozzo. Focus. Lily James. Why is she here?" scowling, Tony gestured the woman forward while discreetly trying to look around the room for any sign of Jake.

"Agent Gibbs. Nice to meet you, I'm Sergeant James." The woman smiled, holding out her hand, and Gibbs nodded, not taking her offered arm.

"What are you doing here?" he asked and gave a pointed look at her closeness to Tony. As of right now, Gibbs decided he didn't trust anybody near his agent.

"Oh, well I just heard what happened and I-"

"Where did you hear it?"

"Um, Jake Archer sir, I-"

"Why would he trust you to tell you what's going on?" Gibbs glowered and Tony quickly intervened.

"Boss." He said simply "You already finished your interrogation." There was a long pause in which Gibbs fumed to himself before reasoning that he could drill Lily James with questions later.

"DiNozzo, with me." He told him and felt conflicting annoyance when he was immediately obeyed.

"Where are we going, boss?"

"You remember Dr. Cranston?" he asked drily and instantly felt his agent tense up. There was a moment in which Gibbs waited for his friend to start complaining and screaming that he wasn't about to see any kind of shrink, even if it was Rachel. He didn't though. There was just the sound of quiet footfalls following directly behind him, and Gibbs briefly wondered why Tony wasn't up by his side like he usually was. Even when Tony wasn't directly next to him he usually stood behind his boss at an angle, not straight back. Gibbs slowed down his pace a bit, waiting for the other man to scurry up beside him. Instead though, the ex-marine reduced his speed, making sure he was still behind his boss.

Pursing his lips, Gibbs tried not to let it bother him too much. It was a military thing after all, he had done it as well. Gibbs supposed that since he wasn't used to thinking of Tony as anything 'military' he didn't expect it… Not to mention the kid had never done anything of this kind of behavior before. Why now?

Striding inside of the conference room, Gibbs pointed to the nearest chair for Tony to sit down and waited before perching himself onto the edge of the table.

"Are you okay talking with Rachel?"

"Why would you think I need to?" At least that was a Tony-ish answer…Somewhat. Gibbs didn't reply though, figuring he couldn't lie or upset anybody if he went with his usual method of staying silent. For once, Tony didn't press him and simply sat there, straight backed and stiff.

"I'm acting different."

Gibbs let his eyes rest onto the kid's features but didn't comment on the fact, still opting to keep his mouth shut.

"The weird thing is… I used to be like this all the time. Well, not exactly like this, but I was quiet… I guess I thought that if I was going to die… I wanted every word I ever said to have meaning."

"You almost die every day here. Doesn't stop you from talking all of our ears off." The older man commented lightly and this time glanced towards the door. He hated anything emotional past the words 'I am good'.

"Yeah… Well, Jake helped me out with that. He would always tell me to just annoy people to death by saying pointless stuff, that way I wouldn't have to get close to someone if I didn't want to… Funny thing is, I kind of like talking now. Well, I don't know about this stuff, but… You know what I mean."

"No, enlighten me." A new voice from the doorway spoke and the two agents looked forward to see Rachel Cranston standing there, her appearance hastily put together, as if she had taken a full three minutes to get ready and jump into the car. Pushing wisps of brown hair away from her face, she gave a small smile at Tony who gave a wary one in return.

"Good evening Tony." She told him warmly and the agent in question's eyes went slightly cloudy for a moment before he shrugged something off.

"Good evening ma'am" Was the formal reply. Rachel gave a quick double take, soaking in every detail about her patient before looking at Gibbs and jerking her head towards the door, signaling him to get out.

"Alright… Wow, we do have a lot to talk about don't we?"

* * *

Tony was in a daze. It was as though someone had covered the world with a fine, white mist, making everything seem dreamlike and surreal. He knew what was going on. Who he was, where he was at, and who everyone was around him...but...there were other people here too and Tony couldn't shake the feeling that the two shouldn't be put together.

"Tony." the single name rang throughout the room and the marine met critical brown eyes.

"Hey Doc." he said lightly and gripped his skin firmly between his index finger and thumb underneath the table he was sitting at. His eyes began to soak in the NCIS emblem on the other side...NCIS...Special Agent... Pain. That was what was happening now. No heat, or beatings. No screams. Just now.

"I've been hearing things about you Tony." Dr. Cranston smiled at him, and not for the first time, he wondered why she was here.

"I seem to be the grist of the rumor mill these days." he told her with a small smile, trying not to compare her with the woman he saw after he got out of being a POW.

"I'll say. Marine huh? I bet that Gave people a shock." she told him gently and Tony nodded faintly. The mist was getting a bit overwhelming. Covering his eyes and ears, curling their way down his throat.

"Tony look at me." Rachel suddenly told him sharply and he did, not really for sure what he was seeing. A cell or conference room. She had been talking for a while now… Was he supposed to say something back now?

"Are you confused? Is this all confusing for you?" she asked in a tone that demanded an answer.

It was. None of it made any sense...What was happening? And why?

"Talk to me. What are you thinking about right now?"

"Umm...this is where I make a joke now right?" he asked uncertainly and another firm look latched onto him. By this point, Tony could have sworn he was somewhere else… Inside a tent maybe with a woman with grey hair instead of brown, but her eyes were still just as penetrating.

"_Sergeant DiNozzo. I need you to tell me what happened."_

"_Ma'am, I already told you what you needed to know." Tony tried to explain warily as he focused his eyes onto the dust and dirt whirling around in a circle outside._

"_I need to know everything. All you told me was that they took you and you escaped. Did they hurt you?"_

_What stupid question. They were in war, what did she think was the answer?_

"_Ma'am, with all due respect, you saw me when I first came back here. What do you think?"_

_The woman gave a look of frustration and furiously scribbled something down on her clipboard that didn't at all concern the marine. He was leaving here after this anyway, he doubted a failed psychological exam would be a problem._

"_You had something in your hand when you arrived… What was it?"_

_No. Clenching his fist, Tony looked away in pure, white anger. She had no right to know. She had no right to even understand. Squaring his jaw, the Sergeant tried to focus on calming down, but to no avail. How dare she ask that?_

"_Tony? Tony, breathe." The psychiatrist told him, his anger obviously wafting throughout the room. "We'll talk about something else. Just breathe…breathe…"_

"Breathe." someone told him and then there was a long pause before the sound of shuffling came up and a small sigh of recognition.

Something warm slid next to him and Tony almost winced when firm pressure was on his arm. Next there was a something firmly pressed into his hand, and his eyes opened to look down at it.

A badge. His badge.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.

Of course. That was who he was. That was who mattered right now, and that was the person who was making all the decisions. He was Tony, the NCIS agent who loved to laugh, play jokes, and cause chaos. He had a crazy Goth forensic scientist for a friend, and sought advice from a man who talks to dead people. He was the guy who had a total geek for a younger brother and a ninja assassin for a partner. He worked for a caffeine addict who would die trying to defend him and was best friends with a four eyed, sweet hearted autopsy gremlin. He liked movies, and women… Had his heart broken a couple times and looked out for his co-workers like they were his family.

_That_ was real. _That_ was now.

And no god damn terrorist or torturer was going to fucking change that.

* * *

There was a pause in the bullpen as Rachel spoke, slowly punctuating a strange word that seemed to be a combination of many languages that only Ziva could understand. Tim was back, checking in with the team before going back to tailing Archer, as Ziva sipped her tea on top of her desk with her legs crossed. The lead agent was pacing, completely ignoring the fact that Rachel was in the center of the room, almost mowing her over several times.

"What the Hell is that?" Gibbs growled as he looked at Kate's sister with raised eyebrows.

"Gibbs," she sighed, running an exhausted hand through her already knotted hair "Tony has completely separated these two lives depending on which one was more dominant at the time. When he was in Afghanistan, the cop kind of life for him was only a dream. When he became an agent, the war memories became only nightmares. Never have they both been real at the same time before. Now they are both present and Tony is trying to decide which reality is and which isn't."

"But they both are." Ziva jumped in, concern outlining her face.

"Yes, but he hasn't let himself believe that before now. His marine life was only real when he was a marine. His agent life was only real when he was an agent. Now that he is experiencing both at once, he's in a state of confusion."

"Well...how do we fix it? You can fix it right?" Gibbs told her as he froze in mid-step, giving her a look that made it clear she didn't really have any other option, _but_ to fix it.

"His personality is switching...Start with prodding him to act like he does usually, but if he gets quiet, don't force him to talk. This is all about him trying to find balance now. Have him talk to a marine friend while talking to you. We need to work on him accepting that these are both parts of his life." Rachel soothed and the three agents considered this.

"What is it like… For him at least?" Tim asked and Rachel shrugged.

"I can't really say I know for sure. I'm guessing his mind is flickering back in forth between thinking he's in Washington to Afghanistan. Maybe he sees another Marine walk by to be interviewed for a case and he thinks he's at base. Or perhaps he thinks he's here testifying for something that happened while he was in combat. He could also be thinking that he is a NCIS agent investigating in Afghanistan. I really can't tell you… One thing is for sure though, expect some serious headaches."

"Thank you Dr. Cranston." Ziva smiled and put her drink down, now opening her newest file and sighing as she allowed her eyes to fall over it. "Gibbs… We need to have Tony look over these pictures." She added "In the past year alone, over fifty Afghan women have managed to get into the United States. None of them have the name Zohura."

"She could be using a pseudonym." Tim interjected "That is, if Archer is telling the truth and she is still alive."

Sensing that her services were no longer needed at this point, Rachel started to retreat away when Gibbs called her back.

"Stay. I would rather him talk to you than to that James girl." He told her and Rachel frowned, silently going over her schedule. When no immediate appointments popped into her mind she nodded.

"I'll go find him." She offered and dropped her stuff back down on Tony's desk, wandering away.

"Boss… I've been thinking. Archer isn't exactly the most reliable to source. How do we-"

"Know he's telling the truth? We don't McGee, but we're going to check it out." Gibbs snapped, looking through the wafts of Afghan women shots that were sprawled out over the desks. Most were covered, but a fair few revealed their faces, smiling happily into the cameras.

"Zohura…" Gibbs muttered, "McGee, check the translation of the name."

"What do you mean?"

"DiNozzo told me her name meant innocence. In what origin? Persian? Or is it a Muslim name?" the junior agent shuffled to his desk, fingers whirling over the keys in a matter of seconds popped up with an answer.

"Muslim."

"Okay, narrow the search to Muslim women." Gibbs told Ziva, looking at the bottom of each photo for the information that went along with each girl.

"Of course Gibbs, but you do understand we need Tony here right… We need to know how this girl died… If it was possible she healed, or if Archer is lying. Otherwise we are wasting our time."

"Are you trying to tell me how to do my job David?" Gibbs rounded on her, his voice coming on dangerously.

"No. I just do not want to see Tony dead because we have followed a false lead." Ziva quickly sniped back and before Gibbs could comment, McGee intervened.

"Boss. I ran a background check on Lily James and look what I got." Pulling up her license and military information, the youngest agent began to read out loud "She got suspended for a month and several referrals in her file after spreading slander about another Marine. She said he raped her, but there was no evidence. The guy was-"

"Jake Archer… This guy seems to be coming up a lot." Gibbs muttered as Ziva slid up next to him.

"Lily said that it was Jake who called her here. Why would she still remain in contact with someone who supposedly raped her? And if he didn't do it… Why he still would he be in contact with her?"

"Well… They were both close to Tony. Maybe they set aside their differences to help him out?" McGee tried, but his voice dripped with doubt even as he said the words.

"I'm more interested in why she accused Archer." Gibbs told them both "And if he did it. And what does any of this have to do with DiNozzo?"

"Looking into it Boss." Tim said, clearing the plasma as he began to work again.

The lead agent looked around at his two working agents before reminding himself that Tony was with James. Damn. Quickly gathering his things, he set off to find DiNozzo.

* * *

Dale Benson was shivering as he skittered down the stairs of the plane, keeping his hood over his eyes as he glanced around.

Washington, DC. It was beautiful, but Benson didn't have time to admire his surroundings as he pushed past the swarm of sweaty people out of the airport and into the nearest cab.

"I need to get to NCIS's headquarters. Now." He told the driver, making sure that the man felt the wad of money pressed into his hand. As the car took off he leaned deeply into the leather of the backseat, as if trying to avoid being seen through the window.

Shaking, he allowed his hand to wander around his jacket pocket in search for the paper that was buried underneath several layers of clothes. Feeling the frayed edges, he flipped it open and looked at the looped writing scrawled across it.

_He's at NCIS. Three days._

Biting his lip, Benson tried to swallow the raw panic at the thought that it was his third day of having the note in his possession. He had to get there… He had to warn them…

Pulling his dog tags around his neck, he wondered briefly why Peter and Brandon weren't answering their phones. His old unit members always would answer him… Michael would sometimes be busy, but he would at least get back to him.

Come on… Go faster…

Dale's thoughts were interrupted by the shattering of glass and a strangled yell. Watching in horror, the marine felt the car swerve to the side, the loud crack of the gun echoing throughout the roads as someone in the background screamed. Blood slid from his neck and hands as glass fragments hit him, but at the moment, all Benson wanted was to get out of the car.

"Shit, shit, _shit_." He whispered, shaking as the car's control was completely lost, spinning him in the middle of the road. A load bang came again and this time, the door flew open, colors whirling by as the taxi began to slow, people rushing by and ambulance loudly announcing their presence. Instant relief fell over the man. Other people were here. He wasn't alone.

"Stay in the car." Any reprieve previously felt was gone, as a figure slipped into the car with him and slammed the door shut.

"Please I-"

"Mouth closed." The person said and slipped to the front seat, pushing the corpse of the driver out of the way. Benson glanced around desperately at the group of people who were edging in closer. He couldn't get kidnapped in a crowd could he?

The person took a moment to flick the glass off of the sheet, gloved hands not at all bothered by the sharp shards.

"Listen I-" with a single glance back, the person took a hand gun and aimed it, unloading a bullet through his arm. White pain licked through Dale as he let out a devastated scream, shoving himself towards the now locked door of the car to try to gather any one of the hundreds of people to come help him outside.

"You will not talk. You will not attempt to escape. You will not move." The person sneered and turned their attention back to the front of the car.

"Whoa! Are you alright? Because we can-" a man was beginning to say as he jogged up to the car, but the captor ignored him, pressing the gas hard and literally striking the offer down. Dale wanted to scream as the person hit the man, but knew better than to argue as they sped down the road, leaving behind the hundreds of people.

Part of him tried to be optimistic that since he was grabbed in such a public spot, his chances of being rescued would go up… But then reality took his toll and Dale Benson knew the truth.

Within weeks, he would be dead.

"Why?" he asked quietly, though he already knew the answer by heart. It was the reason why he came into DC after all. Pulling their hood down, Benson got a good look at his kidnapper and sighed.

Everything made sense now.

"Because of Anthony DiNozzo."

* * *

**Ha. You thought I was going to tell you who it was didn't you? Nope. Though I have been really tempted throughout this whole chapter. Let me tell you guys though… No never mind. I am determined to not give out ANY spoilers… Other than you may never see it coming (:**

**So far you guys seem to think it is either Zohura or Jake (really the only two suspects I've presented) but now I brought in Lily too… Any guesses? Or do you think it could be another person? Maybe a unit member? Oh Gosh I really want to tell you… Hehe.** **Well, see you next chapter! Please leave reviews!**

**The next chapter should hopefully be up super soon since I've already written most of it XD this time it'll have a lot more things in Tony's point of view, which I know you guys like better :P **

**Peace!**

**-Kensi**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

"Of all the _stupid_, _irresponsible_, _reckless_ things to do!"

Oh for the love of God. Tony glowered at the wall, trying to ignore the ranting voice that was pacing back and forth. Tony was not entirely for sure who Gibbs was yelling at- either him or himself.

"Why are you mad again exactly?" he asked drily and one look from his mentor shut him up fast.

"Tell me exactly what happened." Gibbs commanded, icy eyes boring into him with extreme demand. Feeling annoyance at the fact he had no idea what was going on, Tony's voice came out sharp.

"For the _last_ time, I was showing Lily around, and after we were done, she told me she had to go check into a hotel and drove away. What is the big deal?"

"Did you know about her and Archer?" Gibbs asked, pinning him with another stare that Tony decided he didn't like.

"What do you mean? Were they together? God damn it Gibbs! What is going on? You have not pulled me off this case, so why the Hell am I in the dark?" frustration was leaking into the man's system and for a moment all he wanted to do was break somebody's neck. When the other agent didn't answer his demand, he turned fully intending to find and pin McGee down until every single one of his questions were answered.

"How did Zohura die?"

Tony froze. Wafts of emotions and memories came over him. Heat and pain mixed with smell of rusted blood and desperation. Screams echoed somewhere inside of his head and he slowly turned to meet his Boss' eyes.

"What did you just ask me?"

"I know she's supposed to be dead Tony. Tell me how." Shock went through Tony's system of his words and for a moment, he sat in confusion, wondering how on Earth Gibbs could have known that.

"What else did Jake tell you?" he growled as two and two clicked with understanding. "_What did he say_?"

"Sit down, you're swaying."

"What did he say?" at the very last note, his voice changed from angry to defeated. Why would Jake even bring up Zohura? She had no connection to any of this. Like Gibbs said. She was dead.

_"Shh… Shh…" Tony soothed as the sobbing became louder and louder and he looked over at Jake for help. The other man pushed his now chin length hair out of his face and frowned, looking at the little girl who was crying desperately in the corner of their prison._

_"She's been like that for the last hour, what the Hell is wrong with her?" he snapped and Tony glared, attempting to calm the nine year old down. _

_"Zoe? Zoey…Tell me what's wrong." He begged and little dark hands began to dig into his skin as fat tears rolled down her face._

_"It…It hurts!" she howled and Tony quickly covered her mouth before she could aggravate any of their torturers. _

_"Okay…Shh… Tell me what hurts." The marine tried and this time, the crying reduced to sniffles as Zohura pointed to her head and stomach. _

_"Head, shoulders, knees, and toes." She said pitifully, quoting the English song Tony had taught her weeks ago. _

_"Wow, that's a lot of stuff isn't it…Whoa there!" He yelped as she stumbled back weakly, falling into his arms. He looked at her critically, trying to compare her to what he remembered to be healthier looking people._

_She was skinny… Bones clearly defined and able to count. Her whole body shook slightly and her lips and skin were cracked with dehydration. Coming over, Jake made a sad sound of sympathy._

_"Poor kid… She was a fighter." He said regretfully and Tony's eyes snapped up._

_"What do you mean **was**? She still is!" he scowled and Jake gave him a look._

_"Zohura… Does it hurt when I press here?" Jake asked in Persian as he lightly pressed down her stomach and she let out an anguished cry._

_"Tony, her organs are failing. She's as good as dead."_

_"You mean she needs more food? We'll just give her all of ours and-"_

_"No. Tony. Listen to me. She isn't hungry anymore. It's past that, even if we give her food she can't recover." Staring at his friend, the marine blinked at his words before slowly turning back towards the girl in his arms. _

_"It's over..." Jake told him "I'm sorry."_

* * *

"…and then he looked up and saw Zohura." Gibbs finished. He had told him of the interrogation and Tony bit his lip before shaking his head warily.

"She's dead Gibbs. It couldn't be her." There was a tone of resignation in his voice as he said the words out loud and gave him the same look Jake had given him when he delivered the verdict on Zohura's life.

"Are you sure?" he asked gently and part of Tony wanted to hit the pitying look off of his face.

"Absolutely positive." He assured him and Gibbs nodded, flipping open his phone.

"McGee. Go get Archer's ass back in here… You have ten minutes… He said that she was dead… Give the phone to Ziva…" there was some mumbled discussion after that in which Tony tuned out, trying to focus on the things Rachel had told him.

_Picture Jake talking with Ziva or Lily with McGee._ She had told him and for the next couple of minutes, amused himself with images of Ziva and Jake having ninja fights and Tim stuttering endlessly as he blushed while trying not to look like an awkward geek in front of Lily.

Deciding to take it up a notch, he imagined Brandon and Gibbs, both men trying to talk over the other as they argued that they were right, or perhaps Gibbs with Jake, both staring silently at each other in a silent contest of who was more intimidating.

Now thoroughly amused, Tony allowed a small smile grace his lips as he went through more scenarios. Abby and Peter would have been a good one as well… They would have gotten along well. Michael probably would have bonded best with Ducky, his quiet personality and patience able to withstand any story the doctor had to offer.

"Come on DiNozzo." Gibbs suddenly said, appearing next to him again and Tony nodded, trotting beside his partner. Gibbs briefly smiled at the action and Tony momentarily wondered why, but then shrugged it off.

"Ziva has some pictures sorted out for you… She already spent the past hour organizing them all so we may as well be thorough and double check." Gibbs told him and Tony was about to ask what he was talking about when he saw the arrangement of photos all laid out on the floor of the squad room.

"Really?" he asked grouchily, picking up one of a pretty afghan woman smile brightly into the camera and another of a Muslim beaming as well. Gibbs didn't answer, instead moving towards his desk and logging onto his computer.

"I have sorted them all out." Ziva said and Abby popped up from under Ziva's desk.

"I helped!" she beamed "My babies are hard at work… I had nothing else to do. We calculated Zohura's age to be about twenty-five to thirty if she was alive. That pile is right…Here!" the Goth told him, brandishing a group of pictures at him "And then we separated them into whether they are Muslim or not. So, if Zohura is alive and in America she should be one of these nine pictures!" Abby finished and then ended with giving Tony a tight hug. "You haven't come talked to me." She mumbled in his arms and Tony hesitated before relaxing in her embrace slightly.

"Haven't had time Abs. You want to come over for dinner tonight?" he asked as a peace treaty and the forensic analyst gave a grin in return.

Sighing, he grabbed the stack of photos she had offered moments before and shifted through them tentatively.

"No…No… God no… Um. No again…Nada…the opposite of yes…No…and Nope." He said as he stared at the pictures "None of these are her."

Groaning, Ziva picked them up and stuffed them into a manila folder agitatedly. She began to mutter under her breath as she picked up the other stacks that were cluttered around the room, trying to get them all back into one place. Tony chuckled, leaning over to help her as he grabbed the pile next to his desk before turning perfectly still.

Was this some kind of joke?

He pulled the picture up and stared, looking into the dark eyes he had seen hundreds of times before. Tony recognized the face structure, even if it was covered up.

"Zohura." He breathed out and Abby, Ziva, and Gibbs all snapped their attention to him.

"Tony?" Abby asked and the agent turned it around.

"That's her." He told them and Ziva stuck her lips out slightly as though she was confused by this revelation. Abby took the photo out of his hand and stared.

"Tony… This woman is almost fifty. She can't be Zohura. The dates don't match up."

"It's her." He insisted and looked down at the name. "Adila Umaymah" he read and looked back up at the three remaining people in the bullpen.

"This is her." He told them and the frowned "Wait… No it can't…" Confusion washed over him and for a second, Tony wasn't entirely for sure what was going on.

Zohura was definitely dead… Right?

_"Hurts." Zohura moaned into her arm and Tony looked at her pitifully, trying to focus on watching the guards._

_"We have an opening every five minutes for about twenty seconds." He told Jake flatly, his tone depressed and emotionless. His friend looked over at him, working on sharpening the rock in the corner of their cave._

_"Tony." He said sharply "Snap out of it. Do you know where the guards go?" Glaring, the other Marine shrugged._

_"It looks like they head right and take a left…but the last time they took me out we went right then right again."_

_"Same…" Jake said thoughtfully "You think their HQ or something is over there?"_

_"Maybe. If we make it back we should tell out CO that. It would be fun to bomb this place."_

_"**When** we make it back. And yeah, it would be." Jake agreed. Tony nodded dully and continued to surveillance the area, ignoring the wounded moans coming from the corner of the cave. _

_Ignoring Jake as he slid next to his him, Tony sighed and got up to offer comfort to Zohura when his friend grasped his wrist and shoved him back down._

_"Jake, what the-"_

_"We need to talk about her." He said sternly and the way each of the words were spoken so precisely, Tony had to wonder if his friend had rehearsed this to himself while Tony was sleeping._

_"About Zohura?" he clarified and Jake nodded, straightening up like a parent about to tell their child that Santa Claus wasn't real._

_"You do realize… When we escape, that we can't take her with us… Right?" he asked and the other marine felt his eyes snap up in outrage. Before he could speak though, Jake cut him off by holding up his hand. "Listen to me. She is dying. There is absolutely **nothing** we can do. Now, if we try to take her with us, than she's just going to slow us down and the little chance we have of making it out of here will be gone."_

_"She doesn't deserve to die in here alone." Tony responded coolly._

_"And you think it would be better for her if she saw us killed first?" Jake challenged "She wouldn't want that Tony. She would want us to live. In fact, there is no 'would' about it, we can ask her ourselves right now."_

_"Leave her alone!" Tony stood up, suddenly furious. His voice bounded across the walls and he knew he was too loud, but didn't care. "Just shut up!" More might have been said if two men hadn't burst into the room and roughly grabbed him. _

_"Tony!" Zohura suddenly sat up and Jake quickly pushed her back down, watching with incredible sadness as he heard the marine being dragged away from the prison where they were usually brought when they were tortured._

_"I'm sorry Tony." Jake whispered solemnly and sat down next to the crying girl, trying to figure a way out of all of this._

"She's…Dead. She's dead." Tony was saying to himself and felt Ziva gently pry the picture from his grip.

"Tony" she started but her partner quickly cut her off, sounding almost hysterical as he spoke.

"No! That's her! Why is she alive? She's supposed to be dead! I know she is! I know it!" A sharp pain hit his cheek and for a moment he stiffened, thoughts of blood and sand coming back before he realized it was Ziva who had hit him across the face- hard.

"Calm down." She said firmly and he looked at her blankly.

"You hit me." He said, sounding totally shocked.

"You were panic-stricken." She told him defensively and Tony scowled at her, rubbing his face.

"Come on." He heard Gibbs mutter to him and before he could react, someone was grabbing his elbow, hauling him away from the squad room and towards the elevator.

"No, Gibbs. I'm fine. I won't freak out again, I-" he started but was quickly cut off by his boss' harsh look.

"Shut up." He said simply and Tony sighed, deciding it was better to oblige. He knew Gibbs long enough to know when and when not to push, and right now? He really shouldn't push.

Biting his tongue, he resisted the urge to ask where they were going until they reached one of the silver doors that he recognized so well.

"Interrogation?" he frowned "Who do you have in there?" Gibbs didn't respond, simply opening the door to show an empty room. Pushing his agent inside, Tony turned to look at his boss blankly. What was he doing? "Um…Boss?" he asked, but Gibbs didn't answer, he just pointed Tony to the table.

Shrugging the agent went to sit down, only to have his Boss pull him back up and gesture to the other seat where the people being interrogated usually sat.

No way… No. Gibbs wasn't going to…?

"Are you about to _interrogate _me?" he asked incredulously and Gibbs sat across from him, giving him his signature stare.

"You told me that did awful things. Perhaps you would like to confess?" Tony blinked, staring at Gibbs without understanding.

"I did do awful things." He agreed "but…"

"But what?"

"I still don't get why I'm here."

"You should be familiar with the process DiNozzo." Gibbs told him smoothly and Tony could sense he was pushing for something, but for what, he wasn't sure. "I sit here and ask the questions. You give me the answers."

"I'm not a criminal."

"I don't know Tony, what exactly did you do in Afghanistan?" Freezing, the NCIS agent turned to stare at his boss. Instant betrayal and hurt seemed to start running through his blood stream.

"You…You think…?" there was no denying to absolute pain in his tone, but Gibbs didn't respond at all to it. Standing up, Tony glowered "I don't have to deal with this." He spat out and Gibbs pushed back his own chair, pressing Tony back down.

"Sit down." He growled out "Or should I handcuff you too?"

"I didn't do anything!" Tony yelled, feeling the hurt spread at the fact his Boss…His staunchest ally didn't trust him right now. "How could you think that I did?" he asked and Gibbs sat back down, putting his handcuffs down on the table threateningly.

"How did you escape from POW?" Gibbs asked quietly and Tony stared at him, trying to understand. "Answer me." Gibbs growled out.

"Originally me and Jake had a plan. We were going to break out, but we had an argument over Zohura. I wanted to bring her with us… He didn't."

"Why didn't he want to bring her?"

"Jake said she was dying… She was starving and her organs had begun to shut down. He said she would only get us killed and she was going to die anyways."

Tony stared at Gibbs with absolute hatred as he spoke. His hands were clenched into fists and he couldn't stop the steady feeling of betrayal in his chest. Gibbs had been the last person in the world to do something like this to him. Ever.

"Did you end up taking her out with you?" he asked and Tony shook his head, Zohura's screams filling his head.

"No." he whispered, his hands shaking slightly.

"Then how do you know she's dead?" Gibbs asked lightly and the anger inside Tony lit up again, sending in throwing his chair back.

"I don't have to tell you _anything_!" he shouted and went to the door only to find his boss blocking his path. "Get _out of the way_." He hissed darkly and the moment Gibbs moved, Tony's hand went up to hit him.

Quickly grabbing his wrist, Gibbs forced him back, snatching the cuffs off the table and expertly placing them on.

"You…" Tony hissed, not being able to think of any insult worthy of him, though secretly thankful that Gibbs had reacted quickly enough to that he didn't hit him, and that his hands were cuffed in front of him and instead of behind.

"What _happened_?" Gibbs asked forcefully.

_"Alright," Peter said softly "This must be the place." _

_The marines all looked at the rather large cave entrance from a distance, boxes of weapons stashed in front with what looked to be five men standing guard. _

_Ben Craig looked around, holding his breath. It had taken them awhile to track down their missing squad members, but they had done it. Hopefully, he thought wryly as he looked at Michael and Dale's stoic faces, Peter's plan would work. _

_After a numerous amount of begging from all of platoon, Peter managed to get every single marine on the camp to come join them, making a pretty large group. Hopefully one big enough to overthrow whoever had Tony and Jake hostage._

_"Alright." Peter said lowly to the marines "Remember, we are going to have to split up into five groups. The first one-"_

_BANG!_

_Weapons instantly went into position as the sound of a gun piercing through the air went off, and everyone turned to see what the commotion was._

_Whatever had happened was apparently inside the cave though, as four of the five men raced inside, weapons at the ready._

_"What the Hell?" Ron muttered and a few more rounds went off into the air, causing the remaining guard to fall. Racing out front, were two filthy men, one covered completely in blood. _

_"Well, I'll be damned." Dale whispered "Tony and Jake." All men gasped quietly readying for any sort of attack. _

_"What the Hell are you doing?" Jake hissed when they ran close enough to see the huge group of men staring at them with open mouths._

_"We were about to go get you!" Peter gaped back._

_"Oh really? Couldn't have done that three months ago? How long have you been standing here!?" Jake growled but was interrupted by a gunshot flying close behind him. "Never mind. We need to get out of here. Now."_

_"Shit, he's shot." Scott muttered, looking at Tony who was head to toe in blood._

_"It isn't mine." He whispered, touching his face. His face was one of pure shock, but that didn't stop him from keeping up with everyone else. _

_"Go, now!" Peter yelled when more men exited the building, guns in hand. A couple marines ran out, shooting back._

_"We have enough men to take this place out!" Ben screamed and Peter nodded._

_"Do it!" he yelled and the rest of the group ran forward as Peter grabbed the two injured marines to take them to the truck which was hidden behind rocks and camouflage._

_"Grenade!" Brandon yelled and everyone ducked as the first explosion went off._

"We ran out just as our squad was about to come in to rescue us. We were too weak to join the fight, but it didn't matter. Eventually our men blew the whole place up."

"Any survivors from the other side?"

"None." Tony said quietly, staring at the metal cuffs on his hands. Maybe he deserved these after all, he thought bitterly to himself. After what he did…

"Is that how Zohura died? In the explosion?" he asked and Tony clenched his fist at the name.

"No. She died right before."

Letting out a frustrated breath. Gibbs leaned forward to look his agent in the eye.

"How?" he said forcefully and Tony looked away, remembering the horrifying yells and clear cries of pain.

"Gibbs-"

"Tell me."

"I can't."

"DiNozzo. Tell. Me. Now."

"No!" he snapped and would have tried to get up again is it wasn't for the cuffs around his wrists. Looking slightly dejected he kicked a leg of the table forcefully, hoping to relinquish some of his anger. When nothing happened, Tony buried his face into his hands, muttering something too low for anyone to head.

"What?" Gibbs asked, his own tone sounding a little bit pained.

"I…Can you just let me go now? Please?" he whispered and Gibbs regretfully shook his head. Tony felt hate rise up once more again, but said nothing. It was quickly squashed by his defeated thoughts. Part of him was exhausted from all the stress and mood swings. He just wanted to sleep everything off. Of course, he couldn't do that. Not while his friends were in danger…

"I killed her." He spoke finally. His voice was quiet, but the words were clearer than day. Gibbs' eyes snapped back onto his and he stared.

"What?"

"I killed her."

_"It hurts!" Zohura sobbed needlessly and Tony winced at her pain. He looked pleadingly at his friend who had just slipped back into their cage with a satisfied smile._

_"I just got them!" he beamed, looking immensely proud as he handed Tony one of the arms he had acquired. Under normal circumstances, Tony would have rejoiced at the fact they now had weapons to defend themselves, but right now, he just couldn't._

_"We can't leave her. Not like this." He told him quietly and Jake stared, looking at the girl who was pitifully holding her head between her hands in pain. "She can barely think straight… Jake we have to do something."_

_At first, there was nothing said. The two men just watched with incredible sadness as the girl withered on the ground helplessly._

_"I'll put her out of her misery." Jake suddenly said and hoisted his gun. Crying out, Tony jumped in between the two, looking horrified._

_"What the Hell?" he practically screamed and Jake jumped forward to cover his mouth._

_"Shut up!" he hissed "You know it is the only way! We can't bring her with us, and she is as good as dead. This is the only way."_

_"No! She's not a dog Archer!" Tony growled and Jake blinked at the use of his last name, sounding more like an enemy than a friend._

_"So you are just going to let her die slowly than?" Jake sneered coldly and Tony backed away, looking as though he had just been struck. Not answering the question, he went and knelt next to the girl, gently rubbing her back as he gave Jake the filthiest look imaginable._

_"Hey Zoey." He soothed and she gave a sigh, looking as though she didn't have the energy to cry anymore._

_"Tony." She said simply, tracing his hand "Make it stop." She begged him quietly and Tony felt a large lump in his throat at the implication._

_"Aw, Zoe. You're going to be alright."_

_"No. He told me." She said, pointing a little hand at Jake "He told me I die. He told me I do." Her voice was filled with fear, but also some resignation as well. Taking a shaky breath, Tony quickly shook his head._

_"No, Zohura-"_

_"I want to." She said so quietly that Tony wasn't entirely for sure he heard right "I want to if the pain goes." _

_Tony decided right then and there that the world was a horrible place. At such a young and vulnerable age… No child should ever say that. Ever. They were too young, never having experienced the world to have wished such a horrible thing. _

_Yet here was a little girl, starving and days away from her own death, wanting to be murdered just to make the pain ease. Was it really that bad? Tony's own starvation was painful. Cramps and dizziness was just the beginning of it, but he knew he would keep fighting. Zohura apparently didn't even have that in her any longer. _

_Not trusting himself to speak, Tony simply watched as Zohura grabbed something off of her neck. It was a very fine and delicate chain, dark, with a simple blue stone hanging off._

_"My mama's." Zohura whispered lovingly. Tony had remembered when he first came that she was always wearing that necklace, only taking it off to hide it when their captors came. _

_"Pretty." He told her weakly and felt another lump in his throat when she offered it to him._

_"You keep. I want you to…Remember me." She confessed quietly and Tony looked over at Jake, who bit his lip and looked away._

_"Zoe…I-"_

_"Please?" Taking it with shaking hands, he took the necklace and put it one of his pockets._

_"I'll take good care of it." He told her solemnly and Jake knelt in front of him._

_"Tony… Let me just do it. She wants it. Just get it over with before we have to leave." Wincing as Zohura grasped his hand, Tony felt as though the world had been dropped on his shoulders. A little girl's fate rested on what he said… How could anyone cope with that?_

_"You." Zohura interjected and if the atmosphere in the cave could get any darker, it did. "I want a friend to…do it. Please?" she added hastily._

_Tony was going to be sick. He was sure of it. He didn't want to do this...He didn't want to, he didn't want to, he didn't want to…God, please someone stop this from happening. _

_It didn't stop though. It was reality and he couldn't stop it any more than he could stop anything else in his life from happening._

_"I…I…Okay. I just…Give me the gun." He choked out quietly and the moment he heard a soft sigh from Zohura, he felt his self-hatred for what he was about to do decrease slightly. "I'm sorry." He told her "I am so sorry." Her dark eyes latched onto him as he loaded the gun, and Tony continued, hoping to distract her from the bullets he was putting into the gun. "You're brave, you know that? I don't think I've ever met anyone as brave as you, and I probably never will… I'll remember you for a…Very long time. My whole life in fact." There was a pause in which the gun was finally ready. He looked at Zohura with a questioning glance and she nodded, closing her eyes and he heard her murmur something in Persian._

_"I'm very lucky I was able to meet you." He told softly and with her eyes still closed, she gave him one final smile._

_Tony fired._

"There. I said it. That's how I'm so sure she's dead. _I _did it. _I _killed her. That's how I got covered in blood that night. After I shot her…I…Well, we had to hurry. Jake told me to hurry up and run, but I didn't want to leave her in that place, so I picked her up and ran with her…It was stupid, but I still wanted her…body, to be outside at least. There was this room where we sometimes went if we were good. They gave us food there. It was her favorite spot because there was a huge hole where you could see a point in the distance. She told me it was her town she lived in before she was kidnapped… I left her there before we escaped."

Tony saw his boss move slightly, but he trucked on, afraid someone would stop him from admitting all of his wrongs if he didn't get it all out now.

"We had planned it so when we escaped the guards had gone to switch for perimeter control. We were a little late because…Well, because I was so…Hesitant with Zohura. We ran out, and anybody who was in sight we shot. Looking back on it, some of those people could have been hostages too. At the time it didn't seem to matter. I killed them all in cold blood." He said, complete loathing in his voice.

"I told you that you would hate me for things I did out there. Killing an innocent nine year old? A group of people who may or may not have been blameless as well? Yeah. I did that and...and more. When the men finally blew up that god forsaken place, one of the men that had come to help out- to help _rescue_ me and Jake went up to me to see if I was alright. He went up to me…I didn't see him coming. He touched me and I just… My nerves were already fried and I had a knife in my hand…" his voice trailed off and Tony bit his lip, trying to ignore everything. He was such a monster.

Ignoring the cuffs digging into his wrists, Tony buried his face into his hands, unable to relive any memories any longer. Taking carefully measure breaths, he didn't notice Gibbs until he gently grabbed his wrists and took the cuffs off.

"I'm sorry I had to do that to you." He said quietly and Tony blinked. Gibbs had apologized… To him?

"Why did you?" he asked, a bit of resentment still detected in his voice despite the obvious fatigue.

"You wouldn't tell me anything otherwise. I had to press some buttons. You told me how you did something bad…I figured putting you a criminal's seat might break you." He admitted and Tony looked up at him.

"Break me." He repeated listlessly and Gibbs frowned, blue eyes looking very much indeed apologetic.

"I needed to know everything." Nodding, Tony rubbed his wrists, unable to look at Gibbs this second. He still felt a hint of betrayal, but nowhere near as strong of before. There was still the embarrassment of him freaking out and spilling his guts like he was on an emotional soap opera. Now he just wanted to be alone…

"Come on." Gibbs added, pulling him up. Tony groaned. Or not he supposed.

"Where are we going? Gibbs I still want to work on the case."

"I know. Which is why I'm sending you with Abby."

"Abby?" he asked tiredly and Gibbs nodded.

"You can help her until you calm down. I don't think you're ready for field work just yet." He said and Tony accepted this statement, knowing it was mostly true.

"You didn't do anything wrong, you know that right?" Tony turned to him and stared, shaking his head at his Boss' words.

"That's not true. Our job is to help people…To bring them back to their families. Not kill them."

"You would have-"

"Have what? Died? Yeah. That's kind of the job isn't it? You do what is right and if your life is the stakes, so be it. I had no family. Zohura did. That marine I killed? He did. They had people waiting on them, wanting them to come home. I never had that. My Father told the moment I signed up he didn't give a damn if I came back or not, so what right did I have to put my life before any of theirs?" Hitting the emergency button, Gibbs turned to glare at him full throttle.

"Want to tell that Abby? See how she reacts?" he asked coldly "How about Tim or Ziva?"

Swallowing, Tony tried to keep his eyes leveled.

"You know I didn't mean it like that. Besides, if I had died out there you guys would have never even known me."

"Exactly. And you would have never met us. So are you telling me that we're not worth it?"

"Hey!" Tony protested weakly "It isn't…I didn't mean…"

"I get the job Tony. I did it too."

"Yeah… I know." He agreed softly and leaned against the cool metal of the elevator before giving a wary laugh. "This whole case…It's gone to Hell hasn't it?" he asked shakily and Gibbs shrugged.

"People like us always seem to carry a little extra weight." He said and Tony finally let a small smile touch his lips and the sentiment behind the simple statement. "Besides," Gibbs added as he flicked the elevator back on "For the people you _did_ save. It was worth it wasn't it?"

Flashing back to other missions he went on… Women and men laughing and crying joyfully. Being reunited with their families, or being brought to a safer place. Tony's small smile quickly turned to a full grin.

"Yeah." He admitted "It was."

* * *

Dale Benson couldn't remember the last time he had experienced anything so painful.

His captor hummed quietly as they made their way into the rotting room. After driving for endless hours, they had dumped the car and made their way into another waiting one, which took them to the house in the middle of nowhere.

Dale had decided as he looked out the window to oversee a field of flowers and trees, it wasn't a terrible place to die.

"Look, can we at least talk about this a little?" he asked and his captor didn't respond, simply preparing everything for the day's trials of pain. Heated stones, electrical shocks, knives…

"I know who you are." He stated and his captor paused, obviously not expecting that from their prisoner. Turning, eyes bored deeply into his face.

"How is that?" they asked quietly, real curiosity peeking "The others I murdered… They had ideas, but they did not know. Who do you think I am?"

"I don't know your real name." Dale told the person, obviously relieved that he had gotten them talking "But Tony told me about you- Well not _you_, but Zohura. He told me about her."

Hissing, the person lashed out, slapping Benson across the face.

"_Do not speak that name!_" the person growled as Dale flinched away.

"Whose?" he asked bitterly "Tony's or Zohura's?" Anger quickly rose again and the captor hastily grabbed a knife, plunging into the man's leg.

"Hold. Your. Tongue. Or I will cut it off." They hissed as he howled out, and Dale gave the person another look of a mixture of resentment and pity.

"You're going to kill me either way." He told them sadly and the person gave a quiet laugh, though not one that wasn't laced with pain.

"I am sorry for that…But it is the only way to make him pay." They said and straightened up, looking around the empty building. "Where is my gun?" they muttered to themselves before leaving the room without another glance at the man chained by his wrists to the wall.

* * *

"I do not understand." Ziva growled in frustration. "This is not Zohura! It could not be!" she snapped as she threw down the photo.

The mossad agent was pacing around the empty bullpen, talking to herself furiously in a mixture of English and Hebrew.

Her partner's sureness at the picture had set off a spark in the agent, making her determined to find out where and who this woman was. It seemed very unlikely this woman could be the little girl Tony had mentioned. She was almost fifty according to their record, and when her physical examination had been done to enter America, there was no implication she had ever been tortured- let alone the extent Tony, Jake, or Zohura were.

Rubbing her temples, she pressed herself to think further.

What woman could possible look like an older clone Zohura? Unless… No.

Ziva's mind lit up at the possibility. If her hunch was correct, everything would make sense. Ziva was moving so fast to get up and tell somebody she didn't notice McGee and Archer until she ran right into them.

"Ow." Jake complained and glared and McGee, who had him in cuffs once more. "If you don't mind Agent David." He said coolly and Ziva shoved the photo in his face.

"This is the woman you saw, yes? Yes?" she asked him impatiently and baffled, the man nodded.

"Yeah, how did you get that?"

"Do not talk. I need to know everything you can tell me about Zohura. Any little detail you can remember."

"Uh…Well, she was about nine or ten-"

"Not what she looked like. Her family, friends, town." Ziva snapped irritably and Jake blinked again.

"Uh…She lived with her Mom, Dad, I think she mentioned a sister and a brother… I don't know! She liked Tony, not me. Why does it even matter?" he asked and Ziva pushed him out of the way, grasping onto Tim.

"If this woman was to change her identity- If she _did_ use a different name, would her real name be recorded in American archives?" she asked her friend who bewilderedly nodded.

"Yeah, but it is under hundreds of security passwords and other protections-"

"Hack into it."

"What!?"

"McGee this is _Tony_ we're talking about! Find out her real name!" Ziva cried before flipping open her phone to call Gibbs.

* * *

**Whew. That was a lot of work right there...I'm not for sure how I feel about this chapter yet, it is all for you guys to decide. I know with the talk with Gibbs/Tony it seemed a bit OTT, but I figured it is a DRAMA series and it was supposed to be a kind of intense...At least that's how I justified it in my mind :P I also hope I gave you some more obvious clues about who it is in this chapter. I was going to actually tell you who it was, but figured that that wouldn't be fun for anyone, so I just gave some big clues :P Tell me what you think!**

**Love,**

**Kensi**

**P.S.**

**Quick rant...I did this in my last story, but feel the need to express it again. WHAT THE HECK WERE THE WRITERS THINKING!? My poor baby Tony was betrayed! After all those episodes of Ziva and Tony connecting and him helping her throughout her Dad's death then...This!? She LIES and KEEPs him away!? At told TIM!? Now don't get me wrong. I LOVE McGee, but...He wasn't really the right person to go to that for. I mean, not at first. He's good with the techno stuff, but...Ugh, you know what I mean. Tony should have known. This upsets me greatly.**

**Very greatly...In fact. I'm slightly anti-tiva because of it. Though it sucks that NOW they might be getting together when I just switched sides. Smh. I feel like Tony should have someone who respects him a little bit more than she does but...Ugh. I'm not going to talk about it. Simply run, watch reruns of NCIS and do HW. That sounds good right now...Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

"Well this is completely useless." Tony exhaled as he leaned against Abby's wall.

"No!" she told him "Think positive Tony DiNozzo. _Positive_.Your bad vibes are messing with my machines." Snorting, Tony smiled at her and opened his mouth, only to be interrupted by a ringing phone. Looking down at his cell, he saw a familiar name flash on the screen and instantly his stomach took a freezing plunge.

"One sec Abs, I need to take this." He told the Goth and quickly exited the lab before she could respond.

"Dale?" he answered breathlessly and heard a strangled cry on the other side of the line.

"Hello Tony." A voice answered coolly. "Mr. Benson is currently unavailable at the time, but I would be very happy to speak with you."

Looking around to make sure no one was listening, Tony took a deep breath and gripped the phone tighter to his ear.

"So you're the one who has been killing them." He said, his voice full of contempt and distrust.

"They have all been admirably brave." The person said in the same flat tone "I especially like this last one. He was the only one who fully understood who I was. It is a shame I will have to kill him."

"No. You don't." Tony growled through gritted teeth. "It is obviously me you have a problem with. Why go after them? Who are you?"

"You are right." The person sighed "It is not these men's faults at all. However, you must feel every bit of pain you deserve. I was planning on killing Archer and then saving you for last, but I have come up with a much better idea."

"Really? Your ideas sound a bit psycho to me." Tony hissed and the woman on the other line laughed happily.

"If you want Benson to live. Come to me. I will text you the address. Do not tell anyone where you are going or that you are leaving. If you do not get here in twenty minutes, the deal is off. Understand?"

"Crystal." Tony answered, looking into Abby's lab with a pained expression.

"Good…Oh and Tony? I would very much like my necklace back. I believe my daughter left it in your possession before you murdered her. Good day."

* * *

"Ziva what's going on?" Gibbs asked as he walked into bullpen. He paused for a moment to digest the fact that Jake Archer was back, though he was cuffed to a desk, an apple in his mouth for some reason…

"It was the only way to shut him up." Ziva offered as an explanation and the man in question gave a muffled yell and dropped the fruit from his mouth.

"She's torturing me! This isn't _legal_."

"Yeah, whatever. What's going on?" Gibbs asked as he looked at McGee who was typing away vigorously.

"I have a lead." Ziva explained and Gibbs waited for her to continue "Zohura is the person this all keeps going back to, but she is dead. So what if someone for some reason blamed Tony for Zohura's death? And who would be that upset?" She held up the picture of the Muslim woman from before.

"Someone who is older than Zohura but looks just like her? Gibbs this woman has to be Zohura's mother!"

"You think she came to America to kill Tony?"

"If she somehow blames him and his squad for her death, than yes!" Ziva exclaimed.

"Does this mean I can be un-cuffed please?" Archer asked, but was ignored.

"The woman in the photo's real name is Ada Rawah. She is forty-nine years old, and was smuggled out of Afghanistan after her husband died… she has two sons and three daughters. She used to have another daughter, but it says here she was murdered when she was nine..."

"Zohura." They all said together and Gibbs jumped up.

"McGee, find this woman now. Ziva, I still want to know where Lily James is, and what her connection is to all this."

"Whoa, wait a second." Jake cut in "_Lily James_ is here? What the Hell?" he asked, looking irritated.

"Do you know why?" Gibbs asked, kneeling down in front of him.

"No. I mean, after we got back from POW they got into this huge fight that no one knew anything about. A little while later she wanted to find him again and drag him back over here, but I told her to leave him alone. We ended up exploding at each other and she accused me of raping her because of it." Jake told him and Gibbs signaled Ziva to start looking.

"Why would she want him to come back?"

"I don't know! They were tight in training… He told her a lot of stuff and she helped him out. I remember after we went on a raid though, she came to our base for some reason and they had an argument. He wouldn't talk to me about it."

Grabbing his cell, he flipped open his phone and dialed Tony's number. When voice mail came up, he went and punched in Abby's number.

_"Gibbs!"_

"Abby, I need Tony up here pronto."

_"Oh my God Gibbs I'm so sorry…"_ his forensic analyst sobbed on the other line _"I don't know where he went! He left to take a phone call and didn't come back… I looked for him I swear! I was just about to call you!"_ Feeling his stomach drop, Gibbs forced himself to take a deep breath.

"Pull up the security tapes. I'll be down there in a sec." After snapping his phone shut, he quickly turned to Jake and undid his cuffs.

"Tony's gone." He announced and the whole bullpen froze "You need to find these people now, and _you_." He added turning to Jake "You need get me to my agent."

* * *

Gibbs was going to kill him.

Tony sighed as he got into a cab, knowing a bolo would be on his car soon enough and rubbed his hands over his eyes. His boss was going to be beyond pissed when he found out Tony decided to go MIA on them…

He had to stop this though. _He_ was the reason he was in the mess in the first place, it would only make sense that _he_ should be the one to end it…Right?

He didn't think Gibbs would see it that way, but if he lived, he would be able to worry about that later.

Tony fiddled painfully with the necklace in his hands. He had been keeping it close the moment he saw Brandon's body near the Potomac. It looked exactly the same as when Zohura had given it to him. Holding it close, he closed his eyes and let wafts of memories roll over him. Until Zohura, he had been a perfectly normal marine. He had done his job and did it well…

Of course any sense of normalcy would have to disappear for him, he thought bitterly. Now, here he was going to meet the mother of the child he had killed years ago. Closing his eyes, Tony tried to remain calm. This was almost over….

Tony had never been afraid to die. Not even when the idea was looming over him like the roof of a house. When you grew up in an environment that made you question your self-worth, you tended to be a little more reckless with your life. For a while, Tony simply had nothing to live _for_. Then, the moment he joined the Marines, he did. His brothers in arms, the people he saved, his country… Unfortunately, the thing he had found to live for was ultimately the thing that just might kill him, but hey! Each to their own, right?

These thoughts had swayed in and out of the NCIS agent's head as the car slowed, having the trees no longer blur together as he came closer to their destination. It was out in the middle of the woods, lush greens spilling everywhere as the trees split so that the dimming sky bathed everything in a golden glow as the taxi pulled in closer to the house at the end of the gravel road. Hopping out, Tony paid the driver before slipping him an extra hundred.

"Do me a favor and get far away from here- Don't go back to DC for the next day or two and don't answer any phone calls." He told the man, adding another couple twenties to the pile. Tony didn't want to risk Gibbs finding him. This was _Tony's_ fight.

It was time it ended.

* * *

Ada Rawah was an incredibly beautiful woman. Jet black hair mixed with silver tumbled thickly down to her waist and skin that was the color of coffee with a splash of creamer.

The one part of her, that Dale Benson simply couldn't get over though, were her eyes. Black tunnels that were full of empty emotions, twisting and bending back down into the depths of this woman who no one could even begin to comprehend.

Dale often wondered that if in one point of her life, they had been full of warmth instead. Happiness could do wonders to a person, and Dale could only imagine what it would do for this woman.

"It will all be over soon." She promised as she poured herself a glass of water. She sipped casually, her fingers tracing over a note in her hands.

"You could just stop this." Dale told her, his voice cracking. It had been days since he had last eaten, and hours since his mouth had touched the cool liquid feeling of water. Blood leaked down his wrists from the chains hanging him up, and not for the first time, he wondered if death would be a welcomed friend.

"He took my daughter away from me." Ada said simply and took another sip of her water "He will suffer."

"Oh trust me, I have."

Dale felt his weakened head snap up at the voice, recognizing it even after all these years. Tony stood in the doorway, his face white, but placed into an expression that could only be described as extraordinary determination.

Seeing the sudden glimmer in Ada's eyes, Dale opened his mouth, to warn his friend to _run_ when Tony took a seat across from the woman, leaving everyone in the room almost speechless at the casualness towards someone who obviously wanted to hurt him.

"Is Lily here?" he asked quietly and Ada cocked her head with mild interest.

"You have figured it out." She said in surprise and Tony nodded.

"I think I always had a suspicion" he shrugged and Dale stared.

"T-Tony?" he coughed out and his old brother's eyes softened when they met his.

"I'll get you out of this." He told him quietly and Ada snorted, with obvious disbelief.

"You do not call the shots around here Anthony DiNozzo." She snarled, but Tony ignored her, instead opting to poor himself a glass of water as he studied the surroundings of the deserted house that sat in the middle of nowhere.

"Nice place." He gestured, looking at the cobwebbed chimney and dust filled bookcase.

"Be quiet." She growled at him and reached down to grab her gun and knife that stood on the drawer. Tony watched her without comment, his eyes following the weapons as she leveled them at his chest. "You came."

"You sound surprised."

"I was not for sure if you would take my threat seriously. I thought you might bring someone with you." She added looking outside before waving a small little button around "I hooked him up just in case." She added and Dale winced at the reminder of the bomb sitting beneath him. "I decided if you broke my rules I would blow us all up. The same thing applies if you do not listen to my words carefully. Get on your knees."

Tony graciously did so, his eyes never once leaving Ada.

"You say nothing." She commented suspiciously and Tony gave a wry smile.

"What's there to say?" he asked quietly "I know how…and why. What questions are left?" he asked "Other than, is there anything I can do or say to make you let him go?" he added, jutting out his chin towards to Dale. Ada followed his stare and then looked at him with light amusement.

"No." she said simply.

"Then…What's the difference if you blow us up or not? We're all dead anyways." Tony told her calmly and another click brought his attention back to the entrance of the house.

"Keep your mouth shut Tony." Lily said as she strolled in "You're just making it worse."

* * *

_"Tony listen to me!" _

_"I've seen enough." The marine growled as he tried to stalk out of the room, but was pulled back by Lily's arm grasping his with desperation. He turned to look at her, trying to understand what might have been going through her mind at the moment._

_"Tony… I know this looks bad, but you have to listen to me. You have to understand!"_

_"What is there to understand Lily? This is as good as treason!"_

_"Oh, don't be stupid. This isn't treason." The woman said dismissively. _

_"Lily you were making deals with terrorists!" Tony cried out, his voice rising. "You gave them food, weapons, money- for what? What exactly were you hoping to accomplish by aiding our **enemy**!?" he asked her, pushing her back slightly as he yelled. The woman turned to level her glare at him, obviously beginning to realize that he wasn't about to see things her way._

_"Tony. I did it for the greater good." She told him and at this point, Tony appeared to have enough as he began to leave the room before she blocked the tent door._

_"Get out of my way." He told her crossly._

_"What are you going to do? Report me?" she snarled with heavy sarcasm and something went across the marine's face… Something that may or may not have been pain mixed with guilt._

_"You…You were?" she gasped, stepping back as if she had been struck. "What the **hell** Tony!?"_

_"You helped the people that killed Zohura. The people that **tortured** me and Jake. Did you honestly think I would see your side on this?" he asked her with a bit of resignation and Lily stared at her friend. _

_"No. Tony, you've got to listen to me. I did it to keep you alive! Whenever I gave them weapons, they gave me information on you."_

_"Information on my location? The location you never even told anyone on the unit that rescued us? Lily, that's bullshit and you know it." Tony sighed, no longer in the mood to fight. Dark shadows had been forming under his eyes from the nights of sleeplessness and nightmares that always woke him up in a cold sweat. _

_"I swear, I'll never do it again. Just…Just trust me okay?"_

_"It's not that simple. Lily, this isn't just some little mistake. This is serious. Could you just make this easier on yourself and come quietly?" he begged, trying not to sway with exhaustion as he spoke. There was a moment of silence in which the two just stared at each other, each trying to pick their next move._

_"Tony… You know I need this. My little sister in the hospital dying. They said they had a cure."_

_"They were lying! You know that this place would never have the resources to-"_

_"I don't care!" Lily screamed, tears now flowing freely down her face "There was a chance! There was a chance they could cure Sasha! I can't see her die Tony. I can't do it! Do you know what it's like to sit next to someone you love and watch them slowly fade away from you? To see them as they gag for air and literally watch their heart stop at times before it starts again? She's in pain and I need to make it stop! I'm her sister. I'm supposed to make it stop and I. Don't. Know. How…Please." She sobbed and Tony stared, flashes of his mother's life playing across his eyes. Tony had known Lily's thirteen year old sister had been in the hospital for a little over three years now, slowly dying. He also knew it killed Lily to see her that way… He hadn't realized the lengths she would go to try to rectify the situation._

_"Lily…" he started, his throat cutting him off as he felt a lump painfully rise. His mind raced back to when he was eight years old. If he had a chance…Any chance to have saved his mother. Would he have taken it? Would had even thought about the consequences or if it was even remotely realistic? Part of him argued that it was different, considering he was eight and Lily was in her twenties, but at the moment, he didn't care._

_"You're not doing this again, right?" he asked her quietly and glittering eyes met his._

_"No." she whispered._

_"I'm not going to report you…This time. But if anything ever becomes of it, or if I think there's a chance you're doing it, I am. Got it?" after a nod he added one more thing "We're also done Lily. I can't be friends with someone who helped these people. Ever." He told her and left without another word._

* * *

"So, I'm guessing you went back on your word then." Tony asked her wryly as he looked at his old friend's gun pointing at him.

"Sorry Tony…But I found out a couple years after you left… Terrorists offer some good money if you talk to the right people. Unfortunately, I made a mistake. I slipped up and people were talking about launching an investigation when some classified information was spilt and a mole was blamed."

"An investigation I would have heard about." Tony sighed "And would have linked it to you." He said, silently cursing his stupidity. He had done regular check-ups on Lily even after he left to make sure she stayed honest. After his fifth year away though…He began to trust her again, and silently stopped. He should have known better… He should have checked.

"Couldn't exactly have that. So, I took a trip and tracked down Ada over here. Thought she deserved to know who really killed her daughter." Lily finished, stalking around her old friend like a panther. Tony turned his gaze back to the older of the two women, watching her through green eyes.

"And you just accepted that I killed her?" he asked quietly and Ada narrowed her eyes.

"You do not seem to be arguing." She told him coldly.

"I shot her…But not because I wanted to. She was starving, she was basically _dead_ already and-"

"Shut up!" she hissed and there was suddenly a searing pain as she launched forward and dug a knife into his leg. Tony swallowed, resisting the urge to scream. Turning to Lily, he very calmly removed the weapon before a shot echoed through, and a bullet grazed his hand.

"Put the knife down." Lily ordered "Or the next one goes through it."

His chances between the two guns pointed at both him and Dale weren't too marvelous, so regretfully, he put down the weapons.

"Did you check him for anything else?" Lily asked suspiciously and Ada shook her head, looking aghast at the thought a federal agent would have dared to bring weapons. Tony was crossed between rolling his eyes or groaning at the fact he was about to get his gun and knife taken away… Unless… "Idiot." Lily muttered under her breath as she pressed the gun to Tony's temple, using her hands to run over his chest and pat him down. She gave a little smirk as she let her hands crawl down his pants before feeling the pocket where his gun sat.

"Such a shame we have to kill such a pretty guy." She snickered as she grabbed the gun and Tony smiled back, before allowing his hands to crawl to his shoe, where he knew his knife was. Leaning forward, he talked to her quietly.

"Well, as a dying man I wouldn't object to some last minute fun." He whispered, kissing her softly on the neck and felt her relaxing ever so slightly before yanking her gun arm away from him, hitting it hard enough so the weapon went flying, while he used his other hand to grab his knife and take it to her throat threateningly.

Letting out a scream of anger, Lily struggled against his hold, but he had her pinned, her body like a shield in front of him as they faced Ada who was still pointing a gun at them, unable to shoot with all the movement.

"Do not be stupid." She scowled "I can still kill him." She gestured to Dale and Tony let his knife dig further in.

"You touch him, I kill her." He threatened and the older woman stared, looking almost torn.

"I do not care for her." She said instead.

"So you would just let me kill someone else's daughter then? Without a second thought?" Tony demanded and Ada hissed before shooting Dale in the foot. There was a howl of pain from him and Tony tried not to look at all the blood.

"Do not test me. Besides…If she dies. I can easily kill you."

"You _bitch_. Make him let me go!" Lily howled as she struggled and Ada growled before turning the gun back on Tony.

"I will shoot you in the leg. Let us see you keep a hold of her then."

"You'll hit her." Tony warned and Ada shrugged

"She is annoying." Lily responded to this comment with a string of curses before the shots went off. Tony felt pain burst into his side as a poorly aimed bullet ripped clean through his body and he resisted the urge to gasp, blooding flooding his shirt. Lily let out a cry of anguish as the bullet had gone through her, her blood mixing in with his own. There was a loud noise that could have been a scream before something hit his head, and everything began to blur before slowing fading into black, his last images being the wooden ground beneath him next to Lily's convulsing body, both covered in blood before he allowed the darkness to take him.

* * *

**So...I know. It has been forever since I've updated, and this chapter itself isn't five stars. I could give you a million excuses why I've been MIA but I'm pretty sure you don't want to hear them. I'm sorry, really, and I'll get back on the ball this month with summer rolling up. I PROMISE that this will get updated soon, if not finished, by the end of this month (about...Eh, ten or less chapters, depending on how I'm finishing it up). Anyways, please review (: I'm going to bed now.**

**-Kensi**


	9. Chapter 9

To my Dear, Awesome, AMAZING Readers,

Alright, so let me start off by saying I'm posting this in both of stories I'm working on now **Wavering Washington** and **Left Behind**, and if you have are still keeping up with them, you are utterly amazing. As I'm sure you've noticed, I haven't been updating very well for at least month and I thought I'd update you of what exactly it going on, because it isn't fair of me to just disappear off the face of the earth like that.

Remember a couple chapters back when I said I hadn't been updating because a friend of mine, Felicity, was sick and I needed to look after her? And then she got better? Well, things have changed a bit and I didn't give you guys the whole picture.

Felicity isn't my friend first off, she's my daughter. Now freeze. I can feel some of you doing the math in your head, since I have mentioned before that I'm fifteen. I want to make it clear that if I hear a single negative thing towards me, or my daughter I swear to God I will go off on you. No, I am not a slut who got knocked up by her boyfriend and I resent those words every time I hear them (and my actual boyfriend, Jason, would like to add that he does too). I was thirteen at the time and walking alone from school one day. That should be enough for you to figure out what happened. We're dropping this topic now, please do not comment on it.

Anyways, Felicity is still a baby, only just passing her first birthday. At birth however, she was diagnosed with a congenital heart anomaly. That's the main reason I've been so absent. It hasn't been horrible, up until a couple months ago. A lot of drugs and treatments aren't safe to use either so everything has been an awful, emotional fight…In fact, that may have been the reason all my writing has been so emotional as well come to think of it! Felicity went into recovery, since she had surgery and this kind of heart problem isn't normally that serious, but due to other genetic problems (at least we think that is what it is…We really don't know her father's records to be sure since I don't have any of the diseases) she has recently worsened.

This has been…Extraordinarily hard for me, as I'm sure you can understand. I need to focus on my child, and giving everything I have to making her better. Which is why I'm discontinuing these stories. I'm still going to write, it is a great escape when I'm sitting in a hospital waiting room, but I can't ever seem to focus on these stories anymore. I'm immensely sorry for making you guys wait this long, but it has been really hard to write this A/N… I'm actually tearing up a little right now.

Back to the point. I'm no longer going to be updating these, but if anyone wants to finish them, I am totally fine with giving them up for adoption. Just PM me so I know and can post something to tell who is finishing it.

Finally, I just wanted to say thank you all for reviewing and encouraging me and that I am truly sorry I'm unable to finish. Also, I know that there are some incredibly kind hearts out there who are probably already thinking of ways to help me through this right now and thank you for the thoughts, but I would appreciate it if no one PMed me about this. I feel like that would just make it so much harder for me.

Thanks again,

Kensi


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